As the candidates like Ron Paul and Mitt Romney argue over how to solve the debt crisis, how to handle international affairs, and how they’d run the country better than President Obama, Vermin Supreme is making the promises that really matter.
Vermin Supreme is running for president on a very simple platform.
He’ll invest in time travel so that he can travel back in time and kill baby Hitler with his bare hands.
He will prepare us for the inevitable zombie attack.
He’ll create mandatory toothbrush laws.
And here’s the kicker. Free ponies for all Americans.
The Blaze reports that Vermin Supreme has been on the political scene since at least 1988. He recently made headlines for heckling Ron Paul with a bullhorn in New Hampshire.
Vermin Supreme challenged Ron Paul to a “panty-wrestling match to decide it all” and then called him a chicken while doing a chicken dance in front of Paul’s limo.
(Not actual footage of Vermin Supreme, but great chicken dances nonetheless. )
Vermin Supreme writes on his website:
“In an election climate where candidates succeed by discouraging citizens from engaging in independent cognitive activity, repeat Candidate Vermin Love Supreme, (the only bona-fide American Presidential Candidate to actually donate a living organ,) has broken away from the rat pack.”
Vermin says that he is the king rat among rodent politicians and he’s hoping for your vote in 2012. It’s unclear, however, what ticket he’ll be running on.
What do you think about Vermin Supreme’s presidential promises? No zombies, no Hitler, and ponies for everyone… how can this guy lose?