Jillian McCabe Wanted To ‘Pull A Thelma And Louise’ With Autistic Son London — But Do Other Special Needs Parents Sympathize?

Jillian McCabe was the 34-year-old mother of a 6-year-old autistic boy named London up until Monday, when she threw her son off the Yaquina Bay Bridge near their home in Hood River, Oregon. Since then, Jillian and London’s story has spread like wildfire across the internet, inspiring both rage and sympathy from parents of autistic children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL4jZZLt1FA

Rob Gorski, an autism blogger who knew Jillian personally, was absolutely floored by the news that McCabe had ended London’s life in such a violent and tragic way. Rob’s blog, Lost and Tired, recounts his own experiences raising three boys who are all on the autism spectrum. Despite condemning the actions of McCabe, Gorski also noted the struggles that parents like her face raising special needs children, he told NBC News.

“The tragedy here is London. There’s no question about that. This should not have happened. There’s no excuse … But at the same time, you have to wonder what happens that an otherwise loving mother can feel like this is the only option or that this is the best option… They were both loving parents. Everything seemed to be about London and giving him every possible avenue for help that they could possibly do, that any parent would do.”

Closer looks at Jillian’s blog, now deleted, paint a picture of a mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. McCabe pleaded for help from family members when her husband, Matt, also fell ill — adding even more stress to Jillian’s already difficult life.

“I am taking care of our son London and now Matt full-time. I am applying for any and all assistance available… I NEED YOUR HELP. I love my husband and he has taken care of myself and my son for years and years and now it’s time for me to take the helm. I am scared and I am reaching out. I hope I am not coming across trashy or over-reactionary. I must explore every avenue to take care of my family right now.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afqMe4P6DyA

Panic and feelings of helplessness are common among parents of special needs children like McCabe. Eric Butter, director of the Child Development Center at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, says that pressures Jillian had expressed prior to murdering London need to be addressed.

“Often these pressures come at a time when they are just learning to cope with their children’s diagnoses and a lifetime of completely different expectations and dreams for a child. It seems insurmountable… These stressors accumulate in a family that is already challenged. And parents can feel terribly overwhelmed and not think clearly — the unthinkable can happen… The moms don’t really experience the love that comes back from a child — the bonding is mitigated.”

What do you think can be done for parents like Jillian McCabe to avoid these tragic outcomes?

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