Shit happened in Fort Pierce Flordia this week when a woman was left on her porch a "special delivery" by a Mary Kay Saleswoman. The police report issued describes an "overwhelming" stench associated with human excrement.
The victim who filed a police report, told police she heard her doorbell ring, and she saw a red Jeep Cherokee blocking the driveway. As she didn't recognize the vehicle she didn't answer the door.
A friend stopped by shortly afterward and told her of the shocking discovery, a "human bowel movement" sat on the porch, describing the odor as "repugnant." Toilet paper also was on the porch "where the suspect attempted to clean themselves." You couldn't make this crap up, could you?
A neighbor told police a heavy-set woman drove off in the red Jeep and that she was selling Mary Kay products. The victim told investigators the smell was "overwhelming and she had to clean it as soon as possible." Whether she cleaned it up using Avon products cannot be confirmed.
The poopitrater remains at large and police currently have no suspects. Police collected no evidence at the scene, obviously they had no tupperware available.
Beware, when Mary Kay people come knocking, they may have a special package for you. If they offer to sell you eau de toilette, be afraid.