Patty Kearney: 63-Year-Old Lung Cancer Survivor Beats Down Robber With Back Scratcher

Patty Kearney, a 63-year-old with COPD (“or lung cancer,” she clarifies), uses an oxygen tank and doesn’t get around as well as she used to.

That still didn’t stop her from giving a robber the thrashing of a lifetime using a most unusual means of defense: a back scratcher.

It wasn’t that Patty set out to use it; it was just the only thing she had handy when husband Donald was forced back into the house after going to check on a disturbance at their home in Marion, Indiana.

The robber started shouting demands and asking about a gun, Fox59 reports.

It was at this point that Kearney realized he didn’t have a gun, and she wasn’t about to let someone walk in to her house calling shots if he didn’t have a way to shoot her.

That’s when she reached for the back scratcher and brought the demons of Hell down on her would-be attacker.

“Guy had a hockey mask on and I almost started laughing,” she said. But laugh, she did not. No, instead she started flailing away on the assailant, causing him to drop his wrench as he tried getting away from her.

At this point, she exchanged the back scratcher for the wrench and let him have it, hitting him multiple times in the head. Patty added that “he left bleeding.”

“I said not in my house, not in my house, and I boom, boom, boom,” she said, “I just hit him in the head, hit him in the head, hit him until he got right there, and I hit him once more and he ran out the door.”

Kearney also admitted that “If he hadn’t have got out that back door, I’d have beat him to death. And I know I would’ve because I was that mad at that person in my house for doing this to me.”

Marion Police collected evidence from the scene and are currently on the hunt for a suspect.

We have a feeling that when he is discovered, he won’t be anywhere near the house of Donald and Patty Kearney.

We cover a lot of home owners turning the tables on their attackers here at The Inquisitr, but we’ll have to admit this is the first time that we’ve ever seen a woman with a terminal illness using a back scratcher to defend her castle.

Hats off!

So how about it, readers — is Patty Kearney the ultimate bad-a or what?