Marriage Is ‘Out’ And Divorce Parties Are ‘In’

What do extravagant cakes, guest lists, color dress code and gift bags signal? Celebration! And now a surprising kind of celebration is becoming mainstream. Divorce parties. Yep, divorce parties. That’s a thing. Sorry for the repetition, I’m still wrapping my head around this one.

Wow. Anyways, a divorce party is meant to bring closure through company, laughs, drinks and a groom-pushed-off-the-cake figurine. It sounds like an oddball thing, but many bakeries are getting orders for these type of parties on a regular basis. Larry Batch, cake designer in Orlando, recounted his first order for a divorce party in an interview with ABC News. “She said, ‘Your wedding cake was the best part of my marriage,” Larry recalled. “We came up with this upside-down cake, with the cake landing on the groom. I’ve repeated that design several times. I think it’s a healthy thing. When my sister got divorced about 25 years ago, she and my mother went into mourning. Divorce was so embarrassing in those days.”

Event planners, bakeries, attorneys and divorcees have come together to explain the phenomenon that is the Divorce Party. It’s touted as a good method for closure and kick start for new freedom. It gathers friends and family, marks the end of an often long and emotional set of events. There are many abstract theories for why it’s become common. Heck – who doesn’t like a good party? Odd… but this is America. There’s also a common trend of multiple divorces – after the first marriage, second marriage and so on. This could be seen as a healthy coping mechanism to our increasingly self-sufficient culture. According to research at Bowling Green State University, “Lifelong marriages are increasingly difficult to sustain in an era of individualism and lengthening life expectancies; older adults are more reluctant now to remain in empty shell marriages.”

The chosen final end to divorce doesn’t change its aftermath. Especially when children are involved. Any way you spin it, child support and child custody are no party. Divorcees face an upward battle of his-house, her-house as they leave their marriage.

However, I almost agree with Steve Wolf. He and his ex-wife hosted a divorce party to signal a beginning of their relationship as co-parents. “We wanted to do something that expressed the fact that we were doing the divorce not so much as an end of our relationship but as us moving into things like co-parenting and co-business management,” said Wolf.

There you have it. Divorce parties…