Liam Payne has apparently demanded that he and the other four One Direction pop princes have a staggering 20 security guards each to protect them from the tribe of terrible teens who will carefully scrutinize every breath Liam and his boogie brothers make when they begin their world tour next month.
Is Liam Payne terrified of One Direction fans? It would certainly appear so. And let’s be honest, it’s not as if young Liam’s fears aren’t justified.
Liam Payne can’t even have a sly smoke in peace and contemplate the existential nature of the universe without hysterical hordes of hormonal teens screaming at poor puffy Payne through their social media accounts, lamenting that Liam has “broken their heart” and was going to “die early and beautiful” all because he was enjoying a sneaky drag on a fag.
In the face of such madness what’s a Liam to do? Why, demand a little light ‘Payne’ relief and request a small army of shaven headed, tattooed, bodybuilders, skilled in at least three different forms of exotic martial arts, to protect you and the guys, from the wild-eyed and frothing at the mouth One Direction fans whose madness is beyond measure.
Liam Payne’s revelation came in a recent interview when he admitted that he’s concerned about the mobbing and hysteria which awaits Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson and himself wherever they may roam.
You can certainly see where Liam is coming from. The Beatles were so fed up with the incessant screaming and blind adoration which greeted them every time they made a public performance, that John, Paul, George and Ringo retired from touring to concentrate on writing and recording a series of classic, groundbreaking and innovative albums which set the benchmark for popular music, and to date remain unequaled. Is this where Liam Payne’s train of thought is headed we wonder?
No disrespect to the musical and songwriting abilities of Liam Payne and the One Direction lads, but such an option is not really feasible as far as they’re concerned. So for now Liam and co will have to continue to suffer for their art and put up with all the “unwelcome attention.”
To make matters worse, in the same interview Liam Payne confessed to being the shyest member of the group and revealed:
“When people ask for photos and stuff like that, I’m honestly not very good with it all. I haven’t got the confidence. And I’d never go up to someone asking for their autograph – no way!”
If that really is the case Liam Payne dear, you might just well be in the wrong job and those One Direction fans are only going to get scarier and continue to be a right royal ‘Payne’ in the butt.