STD Saint’s Decapitated Head Could Be Yours- For a Price

Who hasn’t looked at their worldly possessions and thought to themselves, “well, it looks like I have everything, but my life’s accumulations are sorely lacking in saint’s body parts…”

If you act quickly, however, that particular issue can be remedied. The skull of Saint Vitalis of Assisi is set to hit the auction block on Friday in Ireland, and although the morbid relic isn’t confirmed to actually be Vitalis’ cranium, you never know. (And he’s from Assisi, where everyone knows all the saints lived.) The holy skull has the distinction of belonging to the actual patron saint of sexually transmitted diseases- did anyone else not learn about this dude in Catholic school?

If anything makes Vitalis’ tale seem legit, it’s that it sounds straight out of a dog-eared copy of A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, complete with dirty rampant sex and a guy who dies with a single, sad thing to his name:

As a youngster, Vitalis was sexually promiscuous and immoral, so to relinquish his sins he went on pilgrimages in Italy and Europe. He then became a Benedictine monk and chose to live as a poverty-stricken hermit. His only possession was an old container to get water.

Auctioneer Damien Matthews of Matthews Auction Rooms believes the skull could grab up to $1,650 at auction.