Thanksgiving at the White House means turkey, tradition, and, if President Donald Trump is in charge, a side of political humor so wild that the East (the China tech warfare kind) could get involved. This year’s Rose Garden turkey pardon ceremony wasn’t just about saving Gobble and Waddle from a gravy-laden fate, it turned into a comedy roast with Democrats as the main course and Biden’s pardoning skills the butt of the joke.

Flanked by First Lady Melania Trump and two very lucky North Carolina birds, Trump leaned into the drama. “When I first saw their pictures… I was going to call them Chuck and Nancy. But then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people!” Apparently, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi didn’t even make the poultry cut this year, per NewsNow.

 

Not that Biden was safe, either. Trump, never one to skip an opening, ran with his favorite storyline. He mocked the former president (and his infamous dependence on the autopen) for last year’s turkey pardons. “He used an autopen last year for the turkeys’ pardon. So I have the official duty to determine, and I have determined, that last year’s turkey pardons are totally invalid.” Trump declared Peach and Blossom, the lucky birds from Biden’s 2024, er, “autopen” pardon, “have been located…on their way to be processed…but I’ve stopped that journey and I am officially pardoning them and they will not be served for Thanksgiving dinner. We saved them in the nick of time.” Trump is nothing if not generous.

But, the Thanksgiving presidential comedy didn’t stop there. In true Trump style, he tossed out a gag about Hunter Biden before giving a tongue-in-cheek shoutout to Attorney General Pam Bondi about the only “valid” pardon in D.C. this fall. Melania, laughed at her husband’s jokes and even stood by as Gobble waddled to the spotlight.

 

The crowning moment was when Gobble was granted an unconditional pardon, while Waddle, who Trump said was “missing in action,” got a pass to hang out with his feathered friend, happily ever after at North Carolina State. The birds even enjoyed a plush DC hotel before their VIP farm retirement, and the crowd lapped up every unscripted zinger.

Outside the Rose Garden, Trump’s annual turkey pardon has become a must-watch moment for both political observers and anyone who just loves a good dad joke. Thanksgiving turkey ceremonies date back decades, but Trump’s ability to spice them up with jabs, zings, and sly nods to the news cycle is truly next-level.

 

Trump’s comic roasting, Biden ribbing, and a couple of spared birds offered the country a quick laugh. It was also a reminder that in American politics, even the turkeys are fair game.