Stories of brides not getting along with their MILs are quite common. In many cases, the MIL’s obsessive love for her son or the fear that her son would choose his future wife over her, turns a wedding chaotic and stressful for the bride, who already has to deal with so much before starting a new life with someone.
While a lot of women manage to deal with their MILs on their own, some find themselves in unmanageable situations and turn to the internet for help. Something similar happened with a bride who decided to take help from the Reddit community to ask if her treatment of her MIL made her a bad person.
For context, the bride mentioned that her MIL has always been quite obsessed with her son. Her post started with, “My (22F) fiance’s mom is extremely controlling. She has been taking various pictures of him throughout his life and has almost documented every second of his existence. Up until he was 17, she would choose what clothes he wore, and made all decisions for him, and refused to let him choose by himself.”
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This gives a fair idea about the kind of relationship that the MIL shares with her son, and naturally, she wanted to get complete control over his wedding as well. As the bride mentioned, “She told him multiple times as a teen, that she would be planning his wedding and that whoever he found would ‘just have to be fine with that.’”
However, problems started as the bride was not okay with the way the MIL was getting into the wedding planning. The bride explained, “She told me where I’d be having my wedding, and sent me some wedding dress styles I could choose from. I immediately told her no, and said that it was my wedding, and she didn’t have any right to control aspects of it. She was very angry and told me that I was an AH for not letting her ‘live out her dream.’ But, nevertheless, I continued to plan MY wedding.”
Things came to a boiling point when the bride said that she did not want family members and friends taking any pictures during the wedding ceremony and the first dance. She said that she just wanted everyone to be present without looking at their phones and photographers were there to capture those special moments. The invited friends and family could go ahead with taking pictures once the ceremony and the first dance was over.
The MIL did not approve of this and went no-contact despite the bride trying to reach out to her. The bride’s post further added, “I have a feeling she’s never going to let me have the day how I want it. At this point I’m considering telling her that if she can’t accept my wedding for how it is, then she doesn’t need to attend. I know that she will want to take a bunch of group photos, that I don’t know we have time for, and may cause unnecessary chaos regardless.”
Netizens’ comments poured in and not only the majority of them supported the bride but also asked what her fiance was doing amid all of this, since it was his mother who was causing this problem. One user commented, “Nta. You gotta do this now, or she’s gonna steamroll you forever. But also..you bf needs to back you up. If he doesn’t, you’re better off not marrying him.”
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Another one added, “I’d consider this a pivotal test in the relationship, if he can’t stand up to his mother about this, I’d second guess the whole relationship because it will absolutely set a tone for the rest of their lives.”
A third user chimed in, “Where is your fiance in all of this? Who is paying for this wedding? Some important info. It doesn’t change my vote of NTA, but your fiance should be running interference here. If he isn’t, then you’ve got a long road ahead of you, where his mom tries to run his and your lives.”
The post highlights the common problem brides face all the time and how important it is for the men to stand up to their mothers who try to completely take over a wedding without having any consideration for the woman her son is going to marry.
