Family dynamics sure are messy, but Reddit’s r/AITAH community loves to scrub them clean with doses of truth and collective judgment! We are talking about a viral post by an older daughter, which was shared about two weeks ago. The poster revealed that her parents were in serious debt and begging her for financial help, despite having funneled all their money into her younger sister for as long as she could remember.
The 24-year-old daughter explained that while she grew up hearing about “working [her] a– off” and “learning to beg just right,” her sister (now 21) was being handed everything (cars, tuition, cash) on a platter. Meanwhile, the OP was left to justify why she needed money for necessities.
When she was 16, her parents flat-out refused to fill out her FAFSA forms and told her she’d have to pay herself if she wanted to go to college. But it is now that karma caught up to her parents, who racked up debt paying for the “golden child’s” college, and came to the older child for help. Well, she said “no” and told them to ask her sister instead.
Hundreds chimed in to label the older daughter “NTA” (Not the A–h—). The top comment summed up the consensus: “Your parents are reaping what they sow. Cut contact and have a great life.” That comment racked up over 7,000 upvotes, so yeah, the crowd clearly loves some poetic justice! Another user suggested the daughter should flip the script:
“Tell them to write or type out a detailed argument on why they should get any of your money. [And then] deny them because you don’t think it is a need since they so freely doled out money to your sister.”
From the outside, you seem to have it all together: great career, active social life and perfect health. Yet on the inside, you’re anxious, unfulfilled and guilty.
If this sounds like you, you might have ‘Golden Child Syndrome’: https://t.co/9op4vhod5Q pic.twitter.com/ng2pevbfPr
— Truity (@TruityLabs) January 6, 2025
Others took a more psychological route, writing that these rules applied only to the scapegoat child and explaining that ‘extracting value from you now keeps you at the bottom of the hierarchy.’ Meanwhile, some went biblical with their wisdom: “They planted favoritism and now they’re shocked the harvest isn’t loyalty.” A few even suggested cutting ties completely and advising the OP to find a “found family.” And in the burn, a Redditor summed up the saga in one sentence: “Well, if it isn’t the consequences of their own actions.”
Psychologists have been warning us about the “golden child vs. scapegoat” dynamic. This toxic system creates one child who can do no wrong and another who’s expected to clean up everyone’s mess. It breeds resentment, exhaustion, and can also lead to estrangement, as proved by this Reddit story. The parents’ refusal to even fill out a college form for one daughter while bankrupting themselves for the other shows how favoritism can backfire. When parents create such an imbalance, they often lose both children!
The real message is about setting limits — and how, at times, the best thing you can do for yourself is to reject toxic expectations — even though Redditors were quick to crown the older daughter. As a person said, “If they had just filled out the [expletive] form, you could’ve had a high-paying job and (…) been in a position to help.” The irony is wild indeed!
