Drunk Dial Congress Is The Most Patriotic Shutdown Initiative

The desire to drunk dial Congress may seem like a bad idea… but a new, amazing website has called upon all Americans to do their patriotic duty, crack open a cold one, and ring up a random House Representative to give them an intoxicated piece of our collective minds.

If you plan to drunk dial Congress, you do it on behalf of all of us. The new site takes two favorite American pastimes — drinking and bitching about the government — and through some magical form of political alchemy, makes it almost like a civic duty.

Over at Drunk Dial Congress (dot org!), you are greeted with a message all Americans, conservative or liberal, affected directly or not by the shutdown can get behind.

The landing page reads:

“Whether you are a furloughed worker, being forced to work for free, or just fed up at Capitol Hill… CALL & YELL AT A RANDOM MEMBER OF CONGRESS!”

We added the exclamation mark. But really, it needs the exclamation mark.

Not yet sold on the idea of drunk dialing an elected representative? The site has a handy list of “talking points” to include in your drunken rant tonight.

For instance, “if you can yell at a Park Ranger after forcing the Government to shut down then I get to yell at you.” This, of course, refers to the reprehensible actions of Rep. Neugebauer, who shouted at an unpaid as of right now Park Ranger just doing her job… thanks to Congress’ inaction.

The site also notes that you can shout, “you guys think you are the same as the heroes of 9/11? Get a f***ing grip!” That would be a reference to Texas Republican John Culberson’s utterance of the 9/11-associated phrase “Let’s Roll” before the shutdown.

There’s also the “I can’t watch the panda!” complaint, because… the panda is offline. Another is, “why don’t you make yourself useful and at least mow the lawn?” That references the guy who tried to do just that, and got in trouble.

Are you going to Drunk Dial Congress tonight? What are you going to yell at them for?