Percy Cummings TSA tale goes viral- did the name not clue you in?

A baldy homophobic bit of satire making the rounds about a poor gay guy named Percy Cummings who happened to skeet all over an agent during a TSA pat-down won’t die, despite being obviously satire.

This is where having the sense of humor of an eighth-grader comes in handy- Percy Cummings? C’mon. But the obvious tells of a satirical bit of internet lore didn’t stop many blogs from posting the tale as true since its November inception. It probably struck a chord with all the TSA and Wikileaks drama, but maybe you haven’t seen the missive, originally posted on Dead Serious News. So here it is in its entirety- would you have fallen for it?

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.