Dog the Bounty Hunter has reportedly announced his plans to track down Edward Snowden, and capture the NSA whistleblower who is currently hiding out in Russia.
OK, it’s now been confirmed that this story is fake , but wouldn’t the world be a better place if Dog, who was born, Duane Chapman, was actually on the track of Snowden? Of course it would be.
Dog’s pursuit was originally believed to have been announced at an impromptu press conference which was held outside Hawaii’s Da Kine bail bonds, Chapman’s place of work.
In a heartfelt statement, Dog was believed to have proclaimed, “Sometimes you gotta bend the rules to save America, and if I can catch this traitor Snowden and bring him back to God’s side, then it’ll be worth the risk of a lifetime of hard labor in a Siberian gulag.”
Dog would probably have even made John McLane, Jack Bauer and Gary Cooper cry with his various declarations of intent, but unfortunately it didn’t occur.
Dog was even supposedly asked if he had a message for Snowden, to which he replied, “Every Dog has its day, but Snowden, your days are numbered. Me and Beth are gonna catch you and bring ya to justice, the American way. If you’re listenin’ slick Eddy, the Dog’s comin’ for ya. You can run, but you can’t hide brah. The Dog has picked up your trail.”
Looking at this last statement, it’s hard to believe that anyone actually believed the story was true in the first place. It was probably just wishful thinking.
The return of Snowden is currently set at one billion dollars, and several other bounty hunters have announced their intent to pursue him. However, even if they do capture him in a death-defying manner, the world will still have wished that Dog had got to him first.
Do you wish Dog the Bounty Hunter was pursuing Edward Snowden?
[Image via Praxis Films/Wikicommons]
