Spousal Support Injustice: Mother Forced To Pay Daughter’s Rapist

A spousal support injustice could soon continue if California mother Carol Abar is forced to resume payments to the man convicted of raping her daughter, according to a Wednesday report from CBS2‘s Andrea Fujii.

Carol Abar married Ed Abar in 1991 when her daughter was 9 years old. Carol alleged that the abuse began when her daughter “was a little girl.”

Now an adult, the daughter wished to remain unnamed in the report but did say the abuse went on 16 years before she finally told her mother.

Carol’s daughter said that, during the course of the abuse, Abar said “he would kill my mom; he would kill my stepbrothers; he would kill me.”

Once she found out, Carol filed for divorce before the rape charges were levied against Abar, who is also a registered sex offender. A judge ruled that Carol, as the top earner of the household, would have to pay Abar $1,300 per month, so beginning the spousal support injustice.

“The judge told me I had no proof. It was my word against him … Every time I wrote that check, I cried because I felt like I was paying the man that raped my daughter,” Carol said.

In all, Abar faced five counts of rape but struck a plea deal where he pled guilty to one, receiving a little more than a year in jail. At that point, a different judge then stopped the spousal support (temporarily).

Now that Abar is a free man, he has reapplied for the support.

Carol’s attorney Brian Uhl said Abar was “asking not just to resume the existing support of $1,300 a month, but he’s asking for what amounts to approximately $33,000 in past due support and that, too, is a miscarriage of justice.”

Abar refused an interview with CBS2‘s Andrea Fujii, but Sherry Collins, his attorney, maintained that he deserves the money. “Under the law, he is entitled to some relief from the higher income producing spouse, so that the marital standard of living can be maintained.”

The court does have an option in California to take instances of domestic abuse between couples into account when determining issuance of financial support. However, since Abar’s abuses were directed at the daughter and not the wife — and given the court’s history of siding with him — it’s conceivable the spousal support injustice could continue.

For more on the case, here’s the CBS2 report:

If you’re thinking the US has been failing at rape sensitivity as of late, we can’t really blame you. In February, a college rape survivor faced expulsion for being too “disruptive,” and in, January, a New Mexico legislator proposed a bill forcing impregnated rape victims to carry their babies to term.

Do you think our society is doing enough to help rape victims, and what do you think of the spousal support injustice claim that could demand California mom Carol Abar to compensate her daughter’s rapist?

[Image via ShutterStock]

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