Jose Canseco Manfume Contains Dragon Blood, Magical Properties

Are you sick of perfume’s that make you smell nice? Have you been waiting for a scent that can give you the athletic abilities of someone like Jose Canseco? Well, the wait is over. Jose Canseco’s manfume is here.

Jose Canseco announced today that he’ll be releasing a manfume.

The former baseball player seems serious about the idea. It’s already been developed, it has a name, and it will reportedly be in stores this May. But there are so many unintentionally hilarious aspects of Canseco’s perfume that it’s hard to take him seriously.

Here’s a run down of highlights from Canseco’s manfume idea.

First, it’s a manfume. Apparently “per” was too feminine for Canseco and “cologne” wasn’t manly enough.

Second, it contains dragon blood. Yep, dragon blood. That might sound like a load of garbage but Canseco says he’s “not kidding” about the ingredient.

Speaking of ingredients, the other three “secret ingredients” are odors from our collective youth and according to Canseco, they will transfer the baseball player’s powers to us when we wear his manfume. What could those ingredients be? Steroids? Is Jose Canseco trying to sell a dragon blood perfume laced with steroids?

The funniest part of Jose’s manfume scheme comes when he talks about where people can buy it. According to Canseco, the manfume will be available in “fine” stores. As well as “other” stores. Where are these semi-fine stores that Jose is talking about? Don’t worry, if you can’t find a semi-fine store in your area you can contact Jose’s manager for a bulk order.

What do you think of Jose Canseco’s manfume? Will this be the scent of 2013?