Carnival Triumph Cruise Ship Set Adrift, Worker Missing

Mobile, AL — The Carnival Triumph cruise ship is hexed. Honestly. There’s no other explanation, is there? On Wednesday afternoon, the ill-fated 900-foot-long cruise ship broke loose from its mooring at the BAE Shipyard and was cast adrift into the Mobile River.

Local news media are reporting that they can see new visible damage on the troubled Carnival Triumph, which broke away from its dock because of near tropical storm force winds of over 40 miles an hour and gusts up to 65 miles an hour.

Rescue crews, including the Mobile Police Department, the Coast Guard, and the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office have already pulled a 35-year-old man out of the water and transported him to a local hospital. He is reportedly suffering only from mild hypothermia.

A second man is still missing at the time of this writing. The men were in a guard shack on the dry dock near the unlucky Carnival Triumph.

It isn’t the case that the ship knocked over the shack. Rather, the severe winds tossed both the ship and the guard shack in unrelated accidents.

The Carnival Triumph first came to notoriety in February, when it earned the title of “Worst Cruise Ever” when a fire caused the ship to be stranded adrift in the high seas for five days.

They didn’t just lose power and air-conditioning. They lost water and sewer services as well, resulting in a truly nasty situation where passengers had to eliminate solid waste into red biohazard bags. Ewwww.

Even after the passengers were back on dry land, the Carnival Triumph curse hadn’t run its course. A cruise ship bus heading from the port of Mobile to New Orleans also broke down and stranded some passengers by the side of the road in the dark.