Roxxy the robot girlfriend has built-in sports banter, lots of holes

And what more could you want in a girl?

For a reasonable $7-10K, about what you’d spend for a new pair of tits on your current model, you can get a whole entire new sex robot with a sports-fan personality and three input destinations! (Everybody knows women only have one after they get married, possibly two on your birthday. Roxxy lets you put it anywhere!) And unlike the seemed like a good idea at the time vagina in a can, Roxxxy talks to you with your selection of one of five pre-programmed personalities. (Choices include Frigid Farrah, S&M Susan and Mature Martha.)

Like many pricey places to shove your penis, Roxxxy was inspired by the tragedy of September 11th. You think I’m making that up? No. From Roxxxy’s website, True Companion:

The initial concept for the current sex robot began with a conversation several years ago. A friend and Douglas Hines were remembering a dear friend who passed away. Douglas thought that it was sad to not be able to ever talk to him again. He said “wouldn’t it be great if I could create a robot with artificial intelligence and have it hold someone’s personality and preferences – this way, we could talk to the robotic version of that person and ask it questions whenever we wanted”?

On 9/11/2001, that good friend also passed away in Tower 1 at the World Trade Center. And now we cannot talk to that person… so, this made Douglas think seriously about how to implement a robotic representation of a person and have it reflect that person’s personality.

Well that’s… touching. In the event you tire of the “person” you’ve downloaded onto your 5’7″, 120 lb. masturbation sleeve, you can download new and better personalities for her, unlike the real woman you may be stuck boning. Also unlike an actual “analog” woman, Roxxxy comes in any hair color or style you’d like. Product pages are down all over the True Companion site right now, but you can submit your e-mail address if you think you and Roxxxy have a future.

Roxxxy’s got a brother in the works, too. His name will be Rocky and he’s apparently packin’.