‘You’re Not Invited’ Email Alerts Are A New Wedding Trend

Scenario: You didn’t get a “save the date” for someone’s wedding. Instead of re-evaluating your supposed “friendship” and languishing in ambiguity, wouldn’t it be nice of the bride and groom to shoot you a quick “you’re not invited” email to clear up the confusion? Right or wrong, such alerts are a growing wedding trend.

MSN reports that “you’re not invited” wedding alerts are on the rise, and instead of shelling out extra lettuce for formal “don’t save the date” cards, brides and grooms are opting for insulting emails instead, inciting controversy. We imagine it’s kind of like being broken up with via text, as soon-t0-be wed couples use their impending nuptials as an excuse to make it known that they’ve never really liked you all that much.

Some couples are pushing the trend even further by sending out emails to B-list friends and letting them know that they’re on a wait list, and will only be invited if an A-list friend can’t attend. I bet they can’t wait to see the B-list wedding gifts.

Despite the controversy, most couples reportedly feel incredibly guilty about trimming their attendance list. But hey, you know, the economy. “Nine out of 10 times, it’s because of lack of space – and the couple feels super guilty,” wedding planner Tatiana Byron told TODAY. “These are usually people they’re friendly with, but not close to.”

Regardless of intention, or how polite a “you’re not invited” alert may be, Byron says that most recipients react with confusion, disappointment, and anger.

“Some of their friends complain and criticize the couple, thinking the planner won’t tell the client,” explained Byron. Brides and grooms will often even blame each other when they deliver the news personally. “The groom blames the bride, and the bride blames the groom.”

To trim your guest list, Byron has a few recommendations. Downsize based on whether or not you’ve “had dinner with them in the last year,” have the conversation early, don’t go on the offensive, and keep it simple and gracious.

What do you think of the “you’re not invited” alert wedding trend? Practical, or unnecessary?