Former NBA star Dennis Rodman has never shied away from controversy, and it seems that his whole life is an open book, so nobody should be surprised that not only is he talking about breaking his penis three times, but he also made a video with Viceland about his "erectile destruction" and "contused penis" with a cartoon of each incident, with Rodman himself doing the voice-over. The video has an eggplant where his penis should be, giving a nod to "free the eggplant" and eggplant emoji.
Before you watch the YouTube video called "Three Ways to Break Your D***: Party Legends," brace yourself for some colorful language, and some cringe-inducing situations. The upside of being Dennis Rodman in these situations is, at least in recounting the stories, he's a pretty chill guy, and by the third time, he knew exactly how to treat his, um, problem. Another plus side, when Dennis Rodman sought medical help in New York for his contused penis, he didn't get upset when one of the nurses, who photographed his member on the sly, tried to blackmail him, saying she would sell the photos.
"Sell them! Publish them! I don't care!"
**Beware, the following video is of a graphic nature**Dennis Rodman, nicknamed "The Worm," now is able to make light about his broken penis, and the fact that he had a broken or a contused penis three times is amazing and a bit baffling. But Rodman is giving interviews, talking frankly about his injured member and also sharing his thoughts on his friendship with Kim Jong-Un.
But Dennis breaks down his breaks, and they are all in the category of sexual misadventure. The first time, he was attempting a move that involved "running and jumping." Dennis Rodman said that one drew blood, and his partner thought he was dead.
Rodman explains that after three broken penises, his appendage is no longer straight, but now Rodman's penis "is zig-zagged."
The Mirror says that the second penis break happened when Rodman was playing for the Detroit Pistons, and his partner was a lady named Tracy. Rodman explains that the couple had a romantic dinner, and retreated back to his hotel where the sex went terribly wrong.
"Crack, another one. I couldn't do anything."The third and hopefully last time Dennis Rodman broke his penis, he was with his girlfriend in New York, and Rodman's story starts to sound familiar. Dinner, hotel, broken penis. But this time, his girlfriend went with him to the hospital.
"We go to hospital and my girlfriend is like, 'Well you know, he has a problem with his penis.'"
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Then, according to Rodman, things started to get stranger.
"The woman comes up and says 'Oh, I'll be right back'. She brought another doctor in, and then another one. I swear to God she just kept bringing people in."
The diagnosis for Rodman and his penis was one he hadn't heard before.
"They told me I had a contused penis."
For the record, a contusion is a bruise, so Rodman's contused penis was a penis with a bruise.
But this is Dennis Rodman's story, so it gets stranger when the next day, a nurse calls Rodman's girlfriend and says she has an x-ray of Dennis Rodman's penis, and she wants $25k not to sell it to the media. Both Rodman and his girlfriend had the same reaction: who cares?
"Okay then do it," Dennis claimed his girlfriend replied.
"That's the easy s***," he said. "I'm good to go."
Hopefully, Dennis Rodman and his manhood are doing much better and have learned a little something from the broken penis adventure.
What do you think of Dennis Rodman's penis break cartoon video?
[Photo by Steven Lovekin/Getty Images]