Andi Dorfman Says She’s Disgusted With Herself: ‘I Wasted My First Engagement’

Andi Dorfman’s first book, It’s Not Okay, has hit the shelves, and people are eagerly buying copies to learn the juicy details behind the scenes of this Bachelorette star’s journey to find love. Andi appeared on The Bachelor when Juan Pablo Galavis was trying to find love. He ended up choosing Nikki Ferrell, but Dorfman walked out of the show after her overnight date in the fantasy suite. When she said it wasn’t great for her that he never asked questions about her during their overnight date, he said, “It’s okay.” And that inspired the book’s title. However, the book isn’t about Juan Pablo — it’s about her engagement to Josh Murray.

According to a new People report, Andi Dorfman is now dishing some details about her thoughts and feelings about this engagement. While Dorfman and Murray appeared to be happy on the outside, things were going down behind closed doors that made Andi question her entire relationship with him. And her engagement quickly fell apart.

“I thought I’d be alone forever,” Andi revealed in the exclusive interview, adding about their relationship, “We all have red flags in our relationships that we don’t see. Looking back and seeing those red flags was very cathartic for me. I realized our relationship wasn’t the highlight of my life like I thought it was. So I took it off the pedestal and realized all was not lost.”

In her book, Andi Dorfman goes into great detail about how she felt she was treated in the relationship. She felt that she couldn’t be herself and couldn’t even follow male country singers on social media. Josh was apparently very jealous, and she was disgusted with herself for putting up with his behavior.

“I was disgusted with myself for what I put up with,” Andi Dorfman reveals about her decision to stick around for so long, adding, “I was a strong, independent woman and I allowed [Josh] to be [emotionally abusive]. Now, I know I don’t want someone jealous or controlling. I know what won’t make me happy in [the future]. I’ve let go of the hatred and the bitter feelings. But I wasted my first engagement and that will always stick with me. I survived. It hasn’t been the easiest ride, but I’m happy.”

The book only shares Andi’s side of the story, and one can imagine that Josh Murray isn’t happy about being called an emotional abuser. But according to Radar Online, Dorfman says she was very nervous about him sometimes. In her book, she explains that she wasn’t too comfortable being in the spotlight. However, Dorfman explains that she only stayed in the spotlight to give Josh a chance to shine. She explains that his younger brother had stolen much of the spotlight because of his journey to the NFL, and she wanted to give Josh some attention as well. But things got worse in Atlanta, where they both lived.

According to Radar Online, she reveals that she was soon walking on eggshells and couldn’t follow guys on social media, talk to guys in public, or even wear sexy clothes.

“I had become a twenty-seven-year-old woman who walked on eggshells in her own home,” Andi Dorfman has revealed, according to Radar Online. “What they didn’t know is I was trapped with someone who, in my opinion, often behaved like an emotional abuser.”

Dorfman’s book is out now, and it will surely have people talking, especially since she makes such interesting claims about Murray.

What do you think of Andi Dorfman’s book? Will you be buying it and reading about this Bachelorette journey?

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