For anyone that has found Justin Bieber’s lyrics overly dramatic, extreme or generally bizarre, this segment from The Late Late Show with James Corden, in which celebrities act out a hilarious Justin Bieber soap opera, proves that you are not alone. Corden invited Salma Hayek, Ray Romano, and Gary Oldman to join him in a dramatic enactment of lyrics from Bieber’s rich library of chart-topping hits. The result is a triumph of comedy.
The Justin Bieber soap opera opens with a romantic evening setting, where Romano and Hayek are chilling by the fire eating fondue. In a true salute to the hallmark soap opera of American television – The Bold and the Beautiful – Hayek wears a silk robe, 10-inch heels, and has hair and makeup fit for the Grammys.
“If I was your boyfriend,” begins Romano, referencing an early Bieber favorite, “Boyfriend.”
“I’d never let you go. I’ve got money in my hand that I’m really ready to blow.”
The pair exchanges the Justin Bieber version of sweet nothings: “swag, swag, swag, on you.”
To maximize the opportunity for reciting Justin’s lyrics as the celebrities act out the hilarious Justin Bieber soap opera, a love triangle bursts onto the stage. Enter James Corden, who has been friends with Justin since first inviting him to appear on the show’s “Carpool Karaoke” segment last year. After bouncing a few – three, to be exact – appalled cries of “Baby!” (once repeated), Hayek wants to make amends. How could Bieber lyrics bring a resolution to this quarrel? They turn to some more recent Justin hits.
“I know you know I’ve made this mistake maybe once or twice,” she says. “Let me redeem myself… is it too late now to say ‘Sorry?'”
Corden, unable to forget that by “once or twice” his lover meant “maybe a couple of hundred times” turns to the arsenal of Justin Bieber romance insults to express his shock and disappointment.
“You’re indecisive. Shorty is an eenie-meenie-miney-mo lover!”
Just when it seems the tension couldn’t get any higher as the celebrities act out this hilarious Justin Bieber soap opera, Romano offers some comic relief by accidentally quoting One Direction lyrics, prompting immediate correction by Corden and Hayek. The relief is momentary— enter the fourth and final actor in the Bieber skit, Gary Oldman. Our female subject begins to look very uncomfortable.
“When I was 13, I had my first love,” opens Oldman, referencing the song that introduced Justin Bieber to the world, “Baby.”
“There was nobody that compared to my baby and nobody came between us or could ever come above. She had me going crazy, I was starstruck!”
When Hayek gets carried away by the Bieber lyrics that made every teenage girl’s heart flutter, Corden is fed up. A seasoned professional in Justin Bieber and his unforgettable lyrics, he ends it with his lover.
“For all the times that you have rained on my parade,” says Corden, quoting a recent song written by Justin himself, “Love Yourself.”
“And for all the clubs you get in using my name… It’s too late now to say ‘Sorry.'”
The celebrities act out this hilarious Justin Bieber soap opera’s closing scene with a dramatic flourish only possible by combining the Bieber lyrics and soap opera genres. Romano and Oldman follow Corden’s suit, quoting “Love Yourself” in a far less sweet and soulful tone than Justin Bieber ever did.
“If you like the way you look that much then maybe you should go and ‘Love Yourself’,” says Romano. “I fell in love… now I feel nothing at all,” echoes Oldman. “My mama don’t like you… and she likes everyone!”
Bieber, Corden, and comedy fans around the world are wishing to see more celebrities act out a hilarious Justin Bieber soap opera. Whose lyrics will be used for the next episode of The Bold and the Lyrical is yet to be decided.
[Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images]