Who is better qualified to dispense sex advice than a woman who’s had 19 kids? Michelle Duggar is famous for her giant brood and is passing on her secret to success to new brides. The topic: pleasing their husbands in bed.
The core of Michelle’s wisdom: be available to him even when you don’t want to, CBS News reported. If you’re sick, very pregnant, exhausted from taking care of small children all day, or feel just plain gross, shake it off and get to it. It’s a wife’s responsibility to be there for her husband in bed, Michelle wrote.
Duggar’s advice emerged Monday on the family’s website and appeared to be a repost from Michelle’s archives.
“When you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don’t forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need.”
The general spirit of Michelle Duggar’s advice isn’t misguided, as Refinery29 pointed out. Compromise is part of marriage and sometimes, that compromise “means getting on board with things that you have to work up enthusiasm about,” like sex.
And Michelle’s point that a husband can have anyone iron his shirt or make his lunch, but not just anyone can satisfy him sexually, Hollywood Life noted, is correct as well. After all, as Duggar wrote, “You’re it. You’re the only one. So don’t forget that, that he needs you.”
The other half of Michelle’s sex advice spoke to the attitude behind such obligatory sex acts: the new bride has to remember that no matter how she’s feeling, she has to be enthusiastic, too.
“Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels.'”
While this old-fashioned advice may rub feminists and tired moms the wrong way, ET Online noted something strange about Duggar’s post and its timing. It was initially published in June 2014, but on Monday was given a brand new date and posted again.
This is leading some fans to believe that the guidance was aimed toward one person in particular — Michelle’s daughter-in-law, Anna, whose husband, Josh Duggar, recently admitted to molesting his sisters as a teen, nursing a porn addiction, and cheating on his wife with two porn stars.
The message to Anna, according to some interpretations: she is to blame for her husband’s philandering ways. Of course, Duggar matriarch Michelle doesn’t mention her directly, nor is the controversy surrounding her son’s sexual misdeeds mentioned. But fans are reading between the lines and, apparently, so is Anna.
A source close to the young woman told Hollywood Life that she’s absolutely furious with the implication Michelle has made in the repost. To her, the advice is shifting the blame for her son’s actions onto Anna. As the interpretation goes, this is the reason the elder Duggar son cheated: Anna didn’t sleep with him enough, this source hinted.
“At first [she] blamed herself for Josh’s wandering eye, but now that’s she been away from him and has been getting support from her own family, she’s starting to realize that she is NOT to blame. In fact, she’s gone from feeling sad to angry. And adding fuel to the flame, is Michelle’s recent sex advice. Anna thinks her words are a direct aim at her and they are passive aggressive and hurtful.”
As to the accusation of sexual disinterest? The source said Mrs. Duggar was “always there for Josh even when she was exhausted.” Being there for him, “no matter what,” as Michelle advised, didn’t keep him from “betraying her,” the source continued.
Further, the source said placing blame on the wife for the husband’s actions only proved to Anna that Mr. and Mrs. Duggar are in denial and they are to blame for Josh’s indiscretions, since they didn’t get him “the proper help and treatment that he needed when they found out he was molesting his sisters.”
So, what do you think about Michelle Duggar’s sex advice? Is it offensive or on point?
[Photo Courtesy Brendan Hoffman / Getty Images]