Zombie Apocalypse: Where In The World Can You Hide?

The zombie apocalypse is coming. The seeds of the zombie pandemic were planted long, long ago with George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. Lately, it’s been positively taking over the world, most recently with the zombie prequel, Fear the Walking Dead, which just set the all-time record for a cable premiere with 10.1 million viewers, according to Variety.

And no sweet and innocent faction of American society is free from the zombie apocalypse. The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalyse, in which some high school scouts have to fight off the walking dead in order to go to the big party, opens October 30. The scouts’ zombie-defense is led by a smoking-hot stripper.

And then there’s 6:15, a first-person POV zombie apocalypse romp, shot all in one take.

But look, zombies aren’t bad people. They’re sick people. Dead sick people. They used to be people, but now they’re zombies. And the zombie apocalypse resembles nothing so much as a horrific pandemic of unimaginably gross proportions.

Let’s get serious here. The Ebola scare is over, and we’ve let down our guard.

Are we really prepared for when the zombie apocalypse does explode? That’s the question the venerable policy journal Foreign Policy posed to a panel of zombie experts — or pandemic statistical modelers, as they might prefer to be called.

Robert Smith? — the question mark is part of his name — the author of The Mathematical Modelling of Zombies, says the zombie apocalypse might be more of a worldwide systemic breakdown.

“It’s dirty water, poor nutrition, and sometimes other people The breakdown of order is just as much a killer as the zombies.”

Two researchers at Cornell University recently presented a paper that answered the question, how long would America last in a zombie apocalypse? The answer: Twenty-eight days.

And it turns out, it’s not Los Angeles or New York that fare the worst in the zombie apocalypse. It’s the Central Valley, where Bay Area and Southern California zombies will converge, or northern Pennsylvania, where New York and Philly zombies will roam.

In any case, super-cities, like those in Asia and the Middle East, will be in big trouble. Possibly the best place to be would be in super-remote areas like Siberia.

Make no mistake, the zombie apocalypse is a question of when, not if, so prepare accordingly.

[Image via AMC / The Walking Dead]