Grey’s Anatomy Recap: Life Without Derek Shepherd, Where’s Meredith? [Spoilers]

Warning: Grey’s Anatomy spoilers ahead. If you have not watched the April 30 episode, do not read any further.

Last week, fans were filled full of drastic emotions when Dr. Derek Shepherd was killed off of the show. Many were left wondering what life at Grey-Sloan Memorial would be like without Derek, as he seemed to be the glue that held everyone together.

Now, unfortunately, they know.

Thursday’s episode, titled “She’s Leaving Home,” picks up where last week’s episode left off. Meredith [Ellen Pompeo] is seen consenting for Derek’s life support to be removed. She then waits for Derek to take his final breath, and heads back to Seattle.

Once she arrives at the hospital, Meredith runs into Callie, Owen, Alex, Maggie, and Richard in the staff lounge. She quietly whispers, “Derek is dead,” but no one hears her. She repeats herself a little louder each time and then faints, as if hearing the words out loud were simply too much for her to bear.

Owen then has the daunting task of telling Amelia that her brother has died. Amelia, who has experienced her fair share of death in her life, reacts shockingly calm. As Owen tries to explain to her what happened, Amelia cuts him off and says, “I don’t need the details, dead is dead.”

Derek’s funeral takes place in the next scene. Meredith is joined by her “family” at the grave site and then they return to her home afterwards. Meredith sits alone, remaining silent through the whole ordeal. Later that night, she wakes Zola and Bailey up and they all three leave. She leaves behind a note saying, “We are safe,” which is later discovered by her colleagues when she doesn’t return to work.

The show jumps to Easter, three months after Derek’s death, and everyone at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital seems as though they are trying to move on with their lives.

Jackson is working on two burn victims with Wilson, and April makes the tough decision to go with Owen overseas for a tour of duty. She tells Jackson that it is only three months, and boards her flight, but not without making him give her a kiss first.

In the meantime, Bailey and Ben quarrel over whether or not they would want extraordinary measures taken if something should happen to them. Their bickering continues throughout the episode.

Arizona overhears one of her colleagues complaining that they hadn’t hired a new neurosurgeon yet. Despite being told not to make a scene, that is exactly what she does, putting the fellow doctor in her place.

Maggie and Kerev are sitting outside watching fireworks, trying to figure out where Meredith might have gone. Thinking that she may have followed in her mother’s footsteps, Kerev admits that he called all the hospitals in Boston asking for Dr. Grey. Maggie talks about finding a family with Meredith and Kerev makes another attempt to call her.

April talks to Jackson, via video chat, and tells him that she won’t be home as soon as she planned. They get cut off, and Jackson is left wondering when his wife will be coming back to him.

Richard and Catherine go out to a romantic dinner. He starts to get down on one knee to propose marriage, but is stopped by Catherine, who tells him not to do what he is about to do.

Amelia continues making jokes about Derek’s death, obviously not coping well. Edwards tells her about some grief groups, and offers to go with her, but Amelia shoots the idea down. Meanwhile, Jackson and Wilson continue working with the burn victims, while Callie spends her time trying to save the leg of one of her patients.

Time jumps to Thanksgiving and we see Wilson, Edwards, and Kerev all at Meredith’s old house. Alex makes one final attempt to contact Meredith, and to his surprise, she answers and says, “Alex, listen. I’m fine. The kids are fine. I’m okay, please stop calling.”

The doctors get together for Christmas and Maggie notices that there is a present for Zola from Sophia. Arizona explains that Sophia has been hoping to see Zola at Christmas, so she got her a present just in case Meredith decided to return.

We finally see Meredith as she tucks her children into bed. Meredith stands up from Zola’s bed and reveals a large baby bump. Yes, Meredith is pregnant. Zola then looks at her and says, “I wish daddy were here.” While sitting on the beach with her kids, Meredith has flashbacks of when Derek told her he wanted to have another baby, and her mother’s words, “the carousel never stops turning,” repeats.

It’s New Years Day and April still hasn’t come home. He admits that he has no idea where she is, while Maggie talks to Catherine about Richard. Wilson checks on the burn victims and finds out that one of them has died, and has to tell her friend that she is gone.

Meredith continues to have flashbacks about Derek. “He’s gone, I know he’s gone,” Meredith says.

Back in Seattle, Callie helps her patient walk, and then breaks down when she realizes it is all because of Derek’s work. She explains to her patient that he was a “brilliant” surgeon who created the sensors he is using to maneuver his new leg.

April returns home and surprises Jackson at the hospital, while Richard confronts Amelia about her absence from the board meetings. In an angry outburst, Amelia finally lets her emotions, that she had been keeping bottled up inside, out.

Owen comes to Derek and Meredith’s home to talk to Amelia. She admits that she has drugs in her pocket and is debating on taking them. “I’m good. I’ve got this. I’m fine,” Amelia says while trying to hold back tears. Owen tries to explain to Amelia that she needs to quit running from her emotions, but instead realizes that that is what he has been doing all along. Amelia then hands the bag of Oxy over to Owen and falls to the floor.

Meredith goes into labor while at home with Zola and Bailey. She starts bleeding and Zola calls 911. Meredith and the kids ride in an ambulance to the hospital where Meredith has a c-section and welcomes her baby girl, Ellis. A nurse mistakenly refers to Kerev, Meredith’s emergency contact, as her husband when he comes to visit her.

When Valentine’s Day rolls around, Bailey and Ben are having a romantic evening at home when Ben gives her a present — his living will. Bailey calls it the “meanest thing he has ever done.” They then confess their love for one another, saying that they love each other too much.

Back at the hospital, Catherine walks down the stairs and announces that she loves Richard and asks him to be her husband. Richard looks at her, with his arms crossed and says, “It’s about damn time.”

Meredith returns to her home in Seattle, with the help of Kerev. She walks into her bedroom, looks at the post-it on the wall, and then turns off the light.

Meredith returns back to work at the hospital, wearing Derek’s favorite scrub cap. She cuts into a patient and then the episode ends.

The sneak peek of next week’s episode shows Amelia confront Meredith, saying that she could have saved him. Will Meredith and Amelia’s relationship be over for good?

[Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images]

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