Nobody Knows Nothing About Brad Pitt In True Detective, So Watch This Patton Oswalt Parody Instead

Speculating on which Hollywood stars will headline the next season of True Detective is just about all that fans of the show can do nowadays, and there’s no shortage of opinions and predictions. That’s all just supposition, though, so why not watch Patton Oswalt’s terrific send-up of the show instead of reading what’s really just glorified casting fan fiction?

It’s been about two weeks since the True Detective finale, but the show still has fans and critics squawking. The parodies may have slowed down a bit, but Patton Oswalt – high in the running for Internet Nerd King, if you didn’t know – took one more spin around time’s flat circle to tout his upcoming Comedy Central special, “Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time.”

Doing his best take on True Detective‘s grizzled and nihilistic Rust Cohle, Oswalt waxes faux-philosophical with even more faux physics, positing not three or four but five dimensions, each funnier than the last.

Oswalt may be hoping that the new video can pick up where his last viral hit left off. Late last summer, before anyone had even heard of True Detective, Oswalt took the Internet by storm with an epic filibuster guest star turn on Parks and Rec. Oswalt’s filibuster pulled together Star Wars, Marvel’s Avengers, the X-Men, and multiple other titles in a feverish and absurd concoction that had fans mystified. Oswalt’s take on True Detective is, by comparison, almost restrained.

“Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time” won’t premiere until April 11, so the comic’s McConaughey impression will have to tide you over until then. If you were just looking for a True Detective fix, though, you’ll be happy to know that the rumor mill is still a-churning full speed. On any given day, mega-star Brad Pitt is or isn’t said to be attached to True Detective‘s second season. Citing “an impeccable HBO insider,” Gossip Cop says that Pitt is not attached to True Detective‘s next season, calling it “pure speculation by an outsider.” So, there.

True Detective‘s creator, Nic Pizzolatto, has been mum on what the show will do to follow up its hit first season. The most Pizzolatto will say so far is that it will have “hard women, bad men, and the secret occult history of the United States transportation system.” That “hard women” bit has the Interwebs buzzing, putting together dream pairings before promptly catching the vapors. Over at Metro, they’re waxing rhapsodic about the potential of a Kate Mara-Ellen Page team-up, because nothing says grizzled crime solver like Juno.

In truth, nobody knows how the next season of the show will shape up save its creator and maybe some HBO execs here and there. Until True Detective makes its return some time in the next year, all we can really do is sit back, relax, and hope that whatever occult undertones the show hints at in the second season are actually, you know, fully realized and not just dropped… ahem.

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