Britney Spears’ ‘Perfume’ Prompts Plenty Of Puns [REVIEW]

When Britney Spears released the second track from her upcoming album, Britney Jean, she had to expect a little wit. Such is the nature of entertainment reviews and Britney has been in the industry for far too long not to know it, But nothing could have prepared the pop princess for the preponderance of puns produced by her poetic “Perfume.”

The inundation of idioms began even before Britney released “Perfume,” a ballad about heartbreak that has yielded positive reviews. Perez Hilton got first crack at the Spears word play, a week and a half before Britney’s latest dropped. “Britney Spears’ Next Single Perfume To Spray And ‘Surprise’ With Her ‘Outstanding’ Vocal Range!” the headline read. Spray? Not bad as far word choice, although using an infinitive is a bit weak. That and there’s no direct or indirect object with the verb. Sadly, that wasn’t the only site Spears made spray (get your mind out of the gutter).

“Britney Spears Sprays ‘Perfume’ As Second ‘Britney Jean’ Preview” was what Billboard had to offer. Excellent use of active voice, but the word choice makes it sound like Britney spits a lot when she talks and/or sings (of course, maybe she does). But it gets points for priming fans with the album reference.

The Hollywood Gossip’s headline was so unoriginal it barely qualifies as wit. “Britney Spears “Perfume” Single Released: Does it Stink or Smell Like Roses?” Come on, you’re better than that. almost nailed it with “Listen: Britney Spears Gives Fans a Whiff of New Song ‘Perfume’.” The problem lies in the semantics: she released the entire song, not a snippet. So “Perfume” is really a whiff of her new album, Britney Jean. And you were so close.

The Examiner’s Lucas Villa put out an impressive header with his review: “Premiere: Britney Spears bottles up heartbreak on new single ‘Perfume.'” Now that’s got class. It speaks to the emotion of the song and offers imagery that the competition can’t even hope for. Unfortunately for Lucas, his efforts were eclipsed.

MTV reigns supreme in the “Britney Spears ‘Perfume'” crusade for cleverness. Bask in the pun-tastic glory that is “Britney Spears Dabs A Little Insecurity On With New ‘Perfume’ Track.” Oh, so tender; as tender as the lyrics with which Britney pines. “And I try to act natural | Have you been thinking ’bout her or about me? | And while I wait I put on my perfume, yeah I want it all over you | I gotta mark my territory.”