penis-shaped traffic deflectors

Town Installs Penis-Shaped Traffic Barriers, Residents Dub Row ‘Penis Road’

Pittsburgh, PA – The unique dome shape on the new concrete posts installed in Scott has everybody in town seeing penis.

Let’s set the Freudian implications aside for a moment. The Post Gazette reports that a series of new traffic deflectors (also called “bollards” for some reason) on two streets in Scott have residents talking, laughing, mocking, and covering the eyes of small children.

Installed on Carothers and Finley avenues, and meant to prevent cars from accidentally running through yars and into structures, these new “bollards” remind passersby of penii (that’s plural for “penis,” right?).

“People are laughing at it. They’re calling it Penis Road,” one resident complained to the township commissioners Tuesday.

Commissioner Eileen Meyers said that she didn’t see the bollards before they were ordered, but shrugged off the penis associations, saying she simply would have preferred “something more antique. I think they’re too modern for that area.”

Commissioner opinions of the penis-shaped bollards were incredibly diverse. One reasoned that the city could scrounge up some money to “flatten” them, while another attributed the association with male genitalia to “weird minds.”

Others, of course, had more rudimentary concerns. “I think those posts are too far apart. I think a small car like a Volkswagen could get through,” said one nearby resident.

Regardless of the heated opinions on the new bollards, it’s likely that Scott residents are stuck with “Penis Road.” They’re actually a part of a wider, tri-community revitalization effort being led by U.S. Representative Tim Murphy.

To give you an idea of how concerned the revitalization managers are about penis-shaped bollards, we turn to leader Steve Beuter:

“People need to get their minds out of the gutters,” he said of the controversy over the penis bollards.

[Image: Post Gazette]