Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Latest Psychological Torture? Making Prisoners Go Vegetarian

Welcome to Maricopa County Jail, the closest thing America has to a real, live medieval dungeon. On today’s menu? We hope you like the vegetarian option, because there is only the vegetarian option.

All kidding aside, Maricopa County jails have enjoyed a lot of limelight over the years thanks to the cruel/hilarious (not sure) reign of controversial sheriff Joe Arpaio. Like a Greek god, Sheriff Joe can be unimaginably cruel one moment and then merely mischievous the next, capturing the attention and often the ire of the mainstream media/anyone who has a functioning soul.

But Sheriff Joe gets results, and the people love him. It’s all arguably due to his hare-brained ideas, wherein he saves the Arizona taxpayer a few bucks by slashing everything in the budget that goes toward funding anything resembling comfort for Maricopa County’s prisoners.

I’m sorry, I’m rambling. You came here for Sheriff Joe’s new uncomfortably funny psychological torture plot. He’s turning his jails vegetarian.

No more meat will be served at Sheriff Joe’s jails, and he’s not doing it for their health. He’s doing it to save money. And also, possibly, to emasculate inmates (he’s serving soy instead).

The inmates will be charged for the meals, which they affectionately call “slop.” These changes go into effect in the next couple of months.

Sheriff Joe remains controversial, and indeed, FOX 10’s Troy Hayden seemed incredibly uncomfortable to be with him, but he’s about a year into his sixth term as sheriff. He beat a relatively reasonable opponent in last year’s election despite birther investigations, immigration raids, un-investigated sex crimes, and accusations of racial profiling.

If you survive that, you can beat anything.

The question is, will Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s inmates survive vegetarianism?