fatberg kingston

Fatberg: Giant Bus-Sized Fat Clump Clogs London Sewers

The “fatberg” discovered in London’s sewers recently was the size of a bus and at least as greasy — but how did a literal tons of fat clump together in the underground tubes so… grossly?

And oh, my God, this fatberg this is so disgusting. So! Disgusting! As a person who asks for prime rib with extra fat, I believe I am qualified to make such an assessment.

The fatberg was discovered by utility company Thames Water, who says the 15-ton grossness consists of “wrongly flushed festering food fat mixed with wet wipes” congealed in Kingston. Because if there is anything a giant glob of fat needed, it was an extra layer of used wipes.

Oh, and discarded sanitary products. What is wrong with you, English people?

Gordon Hailwood is one of the dudes responsible for getting rid of the works clogging fatberg, which was accomplished by using high powered streams of water and taking chunks away for processing. Oh, please stop!

Hailwood admitted:

“While we’ve removed greater volumes of fat from under central London in the past, we’ve never seen a single, congealed lump of lard this big clogging our sewers before… Given we’ve got the biggest sewers and this is the biggest ‘fatberg’ we’ve encountered, we reckon it has to be the biggest such berg in British history.”

It gets worse! He adds:

“The sewer was almost completely clogged with over 15 tons of fat. If we hadn’t discovered it in time, raw sewage could have started spurting out of manholes across the whole of Kingston… It was so big it damaged the sewer and repairs will take up to six weeks.”

Thankfully, the fatberg didn’t come from a rogue cosmetic surgery clinic or anything gross like that. Still, people, this is why everyone drains bacon into a tin can and not the sink, for crying out loud.