The list of America’s Top Sober Schools has been released for 2013, just as a new crop of hopeful partiers heads off to their first year en dorm.
The list of Top Sober Schools goes much as you’d expect, with the Jesus-y Brigham Young University in dry old Utah topping out the list of buzzkills.
The full 20 sober schools are listed below if you wanna check that list against your soon to be alma mater and maybe give some safety schools a ring, but Illinois’ Wheaton College, College of the Ozarks in Missouri, Thomas Aquinas College in California, and West Point round out the top five American wet blanket high education learning facilities.
So where’s the party at? It seems state schools go hard, with the University of Iowa in Iowa City taking the top drinking prize. University of California in Santa Barbara and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign guzzled up to the second and third spots respectively, with West Virginia University in Morgantown and New York’s Syracuse University grabbing four and five.
The higher-ups in Iowa say that the school is working on it — though not to drink harder and hang on to the title, and instead to try to unclaim their top spot:
Iowa University spokesman Tom Moore sheepishly told press that the campus “culture” is an ongoing project when the Top Sober Schools list came out, explaining:
“We are continuing to work to change the culture on our campus by educating students to only consume alcohol in a legal, safe and responsible manner, and those efforts are achieving results.”
Yawn. Below, the list of Top Sober Schools as ranked by Princeton Review.
1. Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah
2. Wheaton College, Wheaton, Illinois
3. College of the Ozarks, Point Lookout, Missouri
4. Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, California
5. U.S. Military Academy, West Point, New York
6. Grove City College, Grove City, Pennsylvania
7. Wesleyan College, Macon, Georgia
8. U.S. Coast Guard Academy, New London, Connecticut
9. U.S. Naval Academy, Annapolis, Maryland
10. Calvin College, Grand Rapids, Michigan
11. City University of New York-Brooklyn College, Brooklyn, New York
12. City University of New York-City College, New York City
13. City University of New York-Queens College, Flushing, New York
14. Mills College, Oakland, California
15. Agnes Scott College, Atlanta/Decatur, Georgia
16. Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering, Needham, Massachusetts
17. California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, California
18. Simmons College, Boston
19. Wellesley College, Wellesley, Massachusetts
20. Xavier University of Louisiana, New Orleans