Rebecca Martinson has returned with more raunchy advice about how to get some game so she doesn’t have to come over there and c*** punch you. The pottymouthed University of Maryland Delta Gamma sorority girl first rose to fame in late April with a profanity-spewing email telling off her socially awkward sisters for their poor performance at Greek Week.
Martinson was released from the sorority after the widely publicized tirade escaped into the wild, resulting in Funny or Die’s Michael Shannon reading the f-bomb dropping email on a widely viewed YouTube video.
However, she has now been hired by BroBible to write a new dating advice column. Rebecca Martinson has renamed herself “America’s Favorite Sorority Girl,” and she opened the new gig with advice on how to get a guy to text you the morning after you meet in a bar.
Fans of her previous work, including a series of tweets that managed to offend pretty much every possible human being in existence, will be glad to hear that she hasn’t toned it down any. You should visit BroBible for the entire extended rant, but here are a few excerpts to give you the flavor of her latest written rampage.
But be warned. If you’re easily offended, the deranged sorority girl might not be the right dating columnist for you. To catch a guy’s attention, she not only highly recommends that a girl c*** tease, she describes the technique in pretty explicit language. Rebecca Martinson is not about to tiptoe around your f***ing sensitive politically correct feelings.
Here’s Martinson on the tease:
“[S]tick your tongue down his throat, grab his junk for an over the pants handy, whatever, just don’t go home with him….The fact that you sort of half put out shows that you’re more likely TO put out at some point in the near future, which is more incentive for him to text you.”
Here’s Martinson on the so-called rules:
“[T]hose of you that do the ‘wait 3 days before you text’ thing, stop it. Seriously, if you meet someone and you’re both drunk do you think they’re going to remember you in 3 days? I’ve been sober for 3 days and I have no idea what even happened that long ago. Like I said, I’ve never had someone wait 3 days so I don’t think this rule even exists, but just in case you think it does, it doesn’t.”
And here’s some deranged sorority girl guidance in how fast you should move ahead in the new relationship:
“Personally I try not to get my spread eagle on until at least the third time I meet up with him.”
Her twitter account is back as well, although the more awful tweets of yore seem to have vanished:
You know the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? You can't take a joke.
— Rebecca Martinson (@becca_martie) June 26, 2013
I’m not too snobby to admit that the semi-deranged sorority girl Rebecca Martinson always makes me laugh.
[guy texting photo by gpointstudio via Shutterstock]