Coney Island Applebee’s Shark Massacre Kills Three … Fish

A Coney Island Applebee’s added a shark to their fishtank, and sharks be sharkin’ … leading to the untimely demise of three of the tank’s residents in a bloody shark attack.

The Coney Island Applebee’s shark attack massacre wasn’t the only pescatarian drama to hit the location Friday, the day three innocent fish lost their lives in the bloodbath.

A second shark added to the tank had a fatal accident with a Coney Island Wonder Wheel mini, plowing into the amusement park replica and dying of his injuries in a dangerous day for aquarium dwellers in Brooklyn.

The New York Daily News broke the story, in which the Coney Island Applebee’s served up blood and gore alongside jalapeno poppers and quesadillas to unsuspecting theme food eaters:

“A Blacktip shark named Zane had to be removed Friday from the restaurant’s 5,000-gallon aquarium after devouring three Lookdown fish in a shocking killing spree … That very same day, a Whitetip shark died after colliding with a three-foot Wonder Wheel replica in the tank, leaving employees shaken by the mayhem.”

Coney Island Applebee’s owner Zane Tankel, who apparently was the inspiration for killer shark Zane in the restaurant’s tank, explains that little Zane didn’t mean to devour his tank mates like so many cheese dunkers in a shark attack … he was just stressed out by some life changes and had trouble coping:

“[The Coney Island Applebee’s sharks[ were in shock. We moved them in too quickly … They went from being in an ocean to being in a tank. They were all disoriented.”

While Zane Jr. chomped up three innocent roomies — Animal Planet captured the whole saga for a new show called Tanked — big Zane hopes the $5,000 shark will be able to return to his tank soon, a sentiment we imagine the other fishies don’t share.

One Facebook user over on the Coney Island Applebee’s official page offered sincere and heartfelt condolences, posting:

“Sorry your shark went on a killing spree. ? ”

Tankel said:

“We are concerned about his health. The sharks are a big investment.”

The Coney Island Applebee’s also must replace the accidentally dead shark after Friday’s aquariumageddon.