‘Esquire’ Writer Awkwardly Stuck With One Night Stand During Boston Lockdown

For Dan McCarthy of Esquire, Friday’s Boston manhunt and subsequent lockdown played out like an independent comedy.

In a short column published April 19, McCarthy writes “from a strange kitchen” detailing the rather awkward situation he found himself that Friday when the city of Boston turned into a benevolent version of Gotham City in The Dark Knight Rises.

After a Thursday night of heavy drinking, McCarthy was summoned to a friend’s apartment at 2am by a classic booty call text. He went, he did things, he passed out, he woke up under martial law.

From there, he details reeking of “stout and sex” throughout the day, an attempt to escape the apartment which included a Dunkin’ Donuts run, and his quest to avoid interacting with his one night stand’s quietly judgmental roommate.

“So here I am. Still in her apartment, the lockdown still in effect, the suspect yet to be apprehended, public transit still shut down,” McCarthy’s column concludes.

“And I’m sitting at her kitchen table writing this on her computer. Her roommate is on one side, slightly baffled, and she’s standing behind me, reading this over my shoulder and absolutely laughing her ass off.”

Because of the deluge of news coming out of the Boston manhunt and lockdown last week, a simple yet humorous “human interest” story like this obviously got drowned out. But now that it’s Tuesday and things are dying down, McCarthy’s column is going viral and attracting all sorts of warm sentiment online.

The best comment on the tale is from a Louisville woman named Vivian. She quite simply divines “You’re going to end up getting married,” to McCarthy, resulting in 40 enthusiastic replies and almost 3,000 “likes.”

There are a few How I Met Your Mother jokes in the thread, as well.

But don’t take my word for it. Go and read Dan McCarthy’s short and humorous Boston lockdown column here. Be sure to hit the comments section, as well.

[Pictured above: Not Dan McCarthy of Esquire. Via: Sweet November studio, Shutterstock.com]