Roger Ebert Dies, Age 70 - 20 Our Favorite Ebert Quotes 1

Roger Ebert Dies: Our 20 Favorite Ebert Quotes

Roger Ebert died this morning at the age of 70. The famous film critic, who recently announced his thyroid cancer (first diagnosed in 2002) had returned, wrote about movies with a passion, thoughtfulness, and wit that few others have matched.

That’s why it feels entirely right to mark his passing with a reflection on our favorite Roger Ebert quotes. This was not an easy selection to make — Ebert was, after all, a prolific and immensely quotable writer — so feel free to share your own choices in the comments.

“Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you’d have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out.”
Review of Armageddon, 1998

“I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.”
A review of an early version of The Brown Bunny. When director Vincent Gallo responded by criticizing Ebert’s weight, the critic was ready: “It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny.”

“I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.”
Review of The Human Centipede, 2010

“But now here is the director’s cut, which is 20 minutes shorter, lops off a couple of characters and a few of the infinite subplots, and is even more of a mess. I recommend that Kelly keep right on cutting until he whittles it down to a ukulele pick.”
Review of Southland Tales, 2007

“I’ve seen audits that were more thrilling.”
Review of Crocodile Dundee II (below), 1988

Roger Ebert Dies, Age 70 - 20 Our Favorite Ebert Quotes - Review of Crocodile Dundee II