Katy Perry claims she prayed for large breasts, and god delivered

“Singer” Katy Perry, the daughter of evangelical preachers and a Christian singer before stripping down and churning out pop, is claiming that her breasts were god given.

Perry told The Sun newspaper that as a nine year old, she prayed for breastly deliverance. “I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn’t be able to see my feet.” Perry said. “Eventually that request was granted.”

Her breasts also gain attention before every show. “Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of Press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won’t have a wardrobe malfunction. Don’t want those boulders doing a show of their own.”

Yeah…ok.