Hiroki Ogita: Japanese Pole Vaulter Misses Gold Due To An ‘Equipment Malfunction’ — His Penis
A Japanese pole vaulter was within inches of his dream of Olympic glory when he lost in the worst possible way: His penis came into contact with the bar, knocking the bar off of its perch and effectively costing him the medal.
As News Corp Australia reports, Hiroki Ogita was competing in the first round of competition for his group and was attempting to clear a vault of 5.3 meters (17.39 feet) when he suffered the unfortunate equipment malfunction. As he executed his jump, his leg brushed against the bar, causing it to wobble. Then his shin grazed the bar, making it wobble even worse. Then, as his body curved over the bar, his penis made an unfortunate appearance, knocking against the bar and disqualifying him.
In the slow-motion video below (which contains obvious footage of a clothed penis, so if you find that sort of thing offensive, you may want to skip it), you can see the moment Ogita’s manhood cost him a medal.
To be fair, Ogita got a second chance at the pole vault, and on his second attempt, he cleared the bar with no problems. Unfortunately, he was only able to clear 5.45 meters (17.88 feet), putting him in 21st place and out of medal contention.
Hiroki Ogita ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????5.3?.?????”???????”??????????????????? #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/CHuCO8ZCkP
— AkaravutTV9 (@AkaravutTv9) August 16, 2016
Needless to say, sports writers around the world are having a field day with the almost endless opportunities for crude puns at Ogita’s expense. And, of course, the Inquisitr will cheerfully share them with you here.
News Corp Australia writer Dan Elsom joked, “What a way to end your Olympic dream: thwarted by the one thing no man ever wants to let him down.”
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The Mirror sports writer Richard Innes wrote, “As his Olympic dream died, Hiroki Ogita must have been the only man in history wishing his manhood was smaller.”
Huffington Post writer Ed Mazza explained, “Inconvenient Penis Is Huge Problem For Japanese Pole Vaulter Hiroki Ogita In Rio.
Fortunately for Hiroki Ogita, although the incident may go down in history as one of the more embarrassing stories to emerge from this year’s Rio Olympics, this is not the first time an athlete has failed in an embarrassing way.
In fact, just days ago, also at the Rio Olympics, Malaysian diver Ahmad Amsyar Azman executed what may be one of the most epic belly flops in the history of diving.
Malaysian diver Ahmad Amsyar Azman had a tough night during the 3m springboard preliminary. https://t.co/o5DoHf41wu https://t.co/RbaoD7oWEm
— NBC Olympics (@NBCOlympics) August 16, 2016
And for long-distance runners, there’s the unfortunate problem known as “Runner’s Diarrhea,” which is when a long-distance runner loses control of his or her bowels during or after a race. The problem is so common that even the May Clinic recognizes it as a an actual medical problem. Needless to say, untold runners have been captured on camera suffering the most embarrassing of embarrassing accidents, but there will be no photos or videos of such in this post. Because let’s face it, that’s gross.
As of this writing, it does not appear Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita has given any interviews about his unfortunate Olympics failure.
[Image via YouTube, Kanate/Shutterstock]
