America’s Got Talent judge Howie Mandel called cops over to his house this morning because, according to him, he heard two people having sex in his bathroom, which is something you really can’t handle yourself (read: sarcasm).
Mandel called on the authorities to stop the couple from doing the dirty deed early this morning (around 1:00 a.m.), according to TMZ. Mandel was hosting a 4th of July party at his Calabasas home, a party which was good enough in order to be stalled into the 5th of July. As the 5th kicked off, Mandel walked past the bathroom in his home, and hark! He heard the sounds normally belonging to a copulating couple coming from within.
Now Mandel didn’t call the cops because he just found the idea of a couple using his bathroom to get their rocks off completely unacceptable, rather, he thought it was possible that one of his guests was actually sexually assaulting another. What were you serving at that party, Howie?
Police arrived and put a stop to the shenanigans, interviewing the 21-year-old male and female who absconded to the restroom. The amorous pair admitted to being a bit drunk and having gotten a bit carried away by the sink.
Now that Mandel’s party is more than likely over, he’s probably headed to his local Wal-Mart for a whole bevy of decontamination supplies. “We’re guessing he’s already made a run to the market for bleach — lots of bleach,” said TMZ. Why? Oh, didn’t you know? Howie Mandel is a total hypo. Just listen to this interview with John Tesh in which he talks about how he doesn’t touch anything in hotel rooms: