Rick Perry was Wasted on Painkillers During Debates

Texas Governor Rick Perry was not just a bumbling idiot during the Republican debates earlier this year. Instead the reason Perry seemed not to know where he was most of the time was that he was wasted on painkillers according to a new e-book by Mike Allen and Evan Thomas claims.

According to the book “Inside the Circus”,

It “became an open secret that he was using painkillers in sufficient dosages to keep him standing through the two-hour debates,”

Supposedly the first person to suggest it was a rival campaign manager who went into the bathroom to see Perry using multiple urinals while singing “I’ve been working on the railroad”

The manager said,

“Wondering who was making all the noise, the campaign manager turned his head and saw, to his surprise, the governor of Texas. “Perry came down the row of about twenty urinals and stood companionably close by.”

Though Perry’s camp was quick t deny the rumors, Perry had undergone multiple surgeries to relieve serious pain in his back.

Questions about Perry’s mental state arose quickly after a particularly unusual speech in the fall, during which he appeared to ramble and slur over certain passages. Organizers of the event and spokespeople for the Perry campaign denied suggestions that he may have been drunk while speaking.

The incident that he is most remembered for is when Perry couldn’t remember the name of the three government agencies he planned to cut if elected.

The exchange went like this:

“It’s three government agencies when I get there that are gone: Commerce, Education and the um, what’s the third one there. Let’s see,” Perry said. He turned to Texas Rep. Ron Paul, looking for some help, but got nothing but a remark from Paul that he would eliminate five agencies.

“Oh five,” Perry said. “So Commerce, Education, and, uh, the uh, um, um.”

“EPA?” offered former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney.

“EPA, there ya go,” Perry said as the room exploded in laughter.

CNBC moderator John Harwood honed in and pressed Perry: “Seriously? Is EPA the one you were talking about?”

“No sir. No sir. We were talking about the, um, agencies of government,” Perry said. “The EPA needs to be rebuilt.”

“But you can’t name the third one?” Harwood persisted.

“The third agency of government,” Perry said. “I would do away with the education, the um, Commerce, and let’s see. I can’t think of the third one. I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”