Late April, Jeff Waters casually walked into the Jacksonville Bank of America and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000.00 — that’s 368 billion dollars.
Armed with his identification and fully expecting the check to be cashed, Waters was befuddled when he learned that the blank check that he bought from a homeless man called Tito was unusable.
When the tellers became suspicious, Waters explained that a homeless man by the name of Tito Watts had sold him the blank U.S. Bank of Idaho check (which was issued in the ’90s) for 100 bucks a few months ago.
Tito, the “upstanding” guy that he is, told Waters that he can go ahead and cash the check for whatever amount his heart desires.
“Tito said the check was good for any amount I wanted to write it for. So blame Tito, not me. I’m as innocent as a schoolgirl,” said the Florida native.
Not wanting to go small and write a check for a few measly hundreds, thousands or millions — Waters had his eyes set on becoming an instant billionaire. He even planned on opening a one-of-a-kind Italian restaurant with his imaginary billions.
So, Waters made the check out to “Cash” and headed to the bank with high hopes. (He was also allegedly high on bath salts).
“It’s always been my dream to own the best Italian restaurant in the earth,” he later told the police.
“I’m 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million square feet and able to accommodated [sic] 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate. But the bank wouldn’t give me my money they owed me,” said the hopeful entrepreneur.
Waters was eventually searched and the police uncovered bath salts and Chinese throwing stars on his person. He was subsequently arrested and charged with forgery, unlawfully carrying Chinese throwing stars, and the possession of bath salts.
Waters was later released after posting a $23,000 bail — which undoubtedly raises a few questions in itself.
Still, someone should get that man on Shark Tank because that just might have been the most awesome restaurant idea in human history.
[Image: Mug shot and check via Jacksonville Sheriff’s Department]