Michael Jackson and Russell Crowe

If Michael Jackson Were a Zombie, He’d Tell You Don’t Worry

Michael Jackson says not to worry. That’s what he always told Russell Crowe at the end of Jackson’s prank calls to the actor. Michael had a “sweet and simple” sense of humor and he didn’t want his calls to upset anyone. So after putting on a funny voice and telling an old joke like the one about the walls (You know the one: “Is Mr. Wall there? Is Mrs. Wall there? Are there any Walls there? Then what’s holding the roof up?”), he’d switch to his normal voice and make it all better.

“Oh, don’t worry, Russell. It’s only Michael.”

Russell Crowe didn’t try to stop Jackson, but that doesn’t mean he thought Michael’s jokes were any good. He told TODAY that it went on “For two or three [expletive] years,” and though Michael Jackson was the crowned King of Pop, he told terrible jokes.

“I never met him, never shook his hand, but he found out the name I stayed in hotels under so it didn’t matter where I was, he’d ring up [and] do this kind of thing, like you did when you were 10. You’re supposed to grow out of doing that, right?”

But Russell Crowe is crotchety, we all know that. Who says you have to grow out of bad jokes? In fact, who says you have to stop prank calls just because you’re not alive anymore? The undead should have rights too.

Undead Rights
Posted by Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality on Wednesday, 28 April 2010

After the Michael Jackson hologram performance at the Billboard music awards, maybe it’s time to push the undead envelope bit. The company that created the hologram of Jackson is working on holographic surgery now, so are nearly-alive prank calls close to becoming reality? If it’s going to be a while before the technology is ready, Russell Crowe does a pretty good imitation. Sort of.

In the meantime, there are other ways to remember Michael. His children are working hard to defend their father against allegations of abuse and clear the Jackson name.

And although it’s a few years old now, TIME made a seven minute short of This Was It. All it’s missing is a last word from Michael Jackson.

Oh, don’t worry, Russell. It’s only Michael.

[Image via TODAY]

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