Michelle Duggar On Grief: Honors Jubilee On Anniversary Of Stillbirth [Video]
Michelle Duggar sat down to speak with Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support’s Executive Director about how she and her family honor and remember Jubilee Duggar, the stillborn baby the couple lost on December 11, 2011. Michelle not only shared some beautiful memories of those who helped her during that difficult time, she also shares how family and friends can help out if someone they know is experiencing loss or grief.
In the video uploaded to the National Share YouTube page, Michelle Duggar first talks about well-meaning friends saying the wrong things. Michelle realizes that many times people just want to say or do something for the person hurting; however, she cautions you to really think about the words you speak.
“They feel like they need to say or do something to help that person with grief. And sometimes just well-meaning friends and family… sometimes I think a mistake can happen and you’ll say things and you will think ‘oh, why did I say that. That was so not the best thing to say.'”
Michelle even points out that Jim Bob has been guilty of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to a family friend who was grieving the loss of a baby. Michelle said that out of love they were trying to encourage the family and show support, but once they left Jim Bob noted that he wishes he would have chosen different words. She said that experience helped her be more compassionate during her own grief when she was dealing with well-meaning comments of others. She said it comes down to the fact that “people just don’t know what to say.”
Michelle suggests a very simple way of acknowledging loss and showing support. She says the best thing you can do for a grieving friend is say “We love you and we are here for you.”
Here are some great tips from the video:
- “Never say I know how you feel.”
- Leave a phone number and allow the grieving individual to contact you on their terms.
- Allow people to grieve in the way they need to; everyone is different and will need something different.
- Allow the one grieving their space. Michelle notes that she spend three days alone in the family’s “prayer closet” processing her grief by herself.
Michelle goes on to tell some of the ways the family still honors Jubilee including having her photo on their “baby wall.”
What do you think of Michelle’s tips on helping others handle grief? Is there anything you would add to the list?
