Watch: Stephen Colbert Irritated By Star Wars Noobs And Critics On Lightsabers [Video]
Don’t mess with the Star Wars guru expert — aka Stephen Colbert. He is not to be questioned by those he calls “stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herders” who are criticizing the new Jedi lightsaber. There has been much speculation since the Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens released its official teaser trailer last week.
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Colbert is quick to jump on his band wagon about anything Star Wars since he claims, according to Uproxx, that he is the top dog Star Wars fan since he saw it before anyone else in 1977.
How did he do that? Colbert explains that when he was in eighth grade, he won free tickets from a radio station to a pre-screening of Star Wars two weeks before the main stream public got to see it. So, step aside because Colbert says he has two weeks on any other Star Wars fan, as per CNET.
In order to understand the depth of his exuberance and lack of tolerance for those who criticize, you must hear his story of how Star Wars changed his life as he told his audience on The Colbert Report. Only then can you grasp the enthusiastic intent of Colbert’s desideratum to educate the Star Wars noobs who insist on voicing what Colbert would say is an “incorrect analysis” of the new and improved lightsaber.
For two weeks after seeing Star Wars in 1977, Colbert spent his time at school impersonating Darth Vader. His classmates, who had yet to see the film just thought he had a bad case of asthma. Although Colbert says it did get him out of gym for a month.
Needless to say, Colbert is all business when it comes to all things Star Wars. So, he didn’t take lightly or too kindly to those mocking the new lightsaber.
According to CNET, the new design incorporates “mini-lightsabers in the lightsaber’s cross-guard, the part of the sword’s hilt that somewhat protects the wielder’s hand. Critics of the lightsaber argue that the wielder would almost certainly lose their hands the second another Jedi’s blade hits that hilt.”
There have been numerous tweets from naysayers, which has completely hacked off Colbert.
Colbert profusely defends the new Star Wars lightsaber design. “Well, I say it’s a perfect design,” Colbert said per Business Insider. “Here’s how it works. I’ve done my analysis.”
“People think it’s actually three different plasma streams, but it’s all one.”
Colbert continues to go in depth with the details of his analysis, making his audience crack up with laughter at the hilarity of it all. He sums up his analysis with, “Any padawan knows that!”
Who can argue with that? For those who try, may the Force be with you.
Photo Credit: OpenTheToy.com, BusinessInsider.com
