Sony Officially Out Of Ideas, Working On ‘Aunt May’ Movie With No Spider-Man

Somebody better call Child Protective Services; Sony is already over there doing awful things to Marvel’s Spider-Man baby, and the latest rumor of an Aunt May movie makes it look like things are only going to get worse.

The new report comes courtesy of Latino-Review, and it’s a doozy. They’re saying that Sony, in an attempt to capitalize on every possible angle in the Spider-Man “franchise,” is actually, truly, we’re-quite-far-from-April-Fool’s-Day considering putting out a movie based on a little-known 2003 Marvel mini-series called Trouble.

That series, penned by word criminal Mark Millar, aimed to retell the origin of Spider-Man by way of teenage versions of Aunt May, Uncle Ben and Peter Parker’s parents, Richard and Mary Parker. There was – ugh – a convoluted series of events wherein Richard is still Peter’s real father but it turns out that May is Peter’s mother and ugh!

spider-man aunt may movie
Exactly.

There was also some nonsense about spies. This is a thing that happened. No charges were filed.

In any case, it appears that Sony truly doesn’t know what to do with the Spider-Man franchise after Amazing Spider-Man 2 failed to live up to the entertainment giant’s expectations. Sony was said to be working on a Sinister Six movie, one that would feature such renowned Spider-Man villains as the Rhino, the Vulture, Three Guys You’ve Never Heard Of, and Probably Venom.

The underwhelming response to Sony’s attempt to hype the Sinister Six – hints at their costumes showed up in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – seems to have sent Sony scrambling. There were rumors that the role of Spider-Man would be recast for the third Spider-Man movie. There were rumors that the Sinister Six movie was being scrapped for a Venom-Carnage movie. Someone said that Sony was planning an all-female Spider-Man spinoff flick. There was talk that the third Spider-Man movie would feature an extended dance number. Oh, no, wait, Sony already did that.

That is a thing that happened in the same world that you live in. There is nothing you can do about it.

In truth, there are arguably only a few bankable characters within the Spider-Man “Universe,” those being Spider-Man and Venom. There are many other personalities in Spider-Man’s orbit in the Marvel comics, but most of those are either animal-based characters no one has heard of or spider-based characters that aren’t different enough from Spider-Man to stand out.

That lack of characters to build a “universe” on means that Sony doesn’t have nearly the leeway that Fox has with its stranglehold on Marvel’s X-Men franchise. Even the Fantastic Four franchise – also locked in Fox’s deathgrip – has more distinguishable characters that could be turned into potential spinoffs. With Spider-Man, it’s basically Spider-Man and Venom. And Venom is basically Freakshow Spider-Man with a T-1000-esque Costume.

Thus, Sony casts about looking for anything that might form the basis for something other than Amazing Spider-Man 3. Despite the rumors of a possible collaboration with Marvel, Sony desperately does not want to give back those Spider-Man licensing rights, so the company is exploring every potential avenue. That means it’s entirely possible that we’ll see an Aunt May espionage prequel, Spider-Gwen, Silk, Glass Ceiling, Venom-Carnage, and the Sinister Six. Or at least some combination of all of those. Or maybe Child Protective Services will clear their backlog and take Spider-Man into protective custody.

[Photo credit: IGN.com]

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