We posted yesterday about Helena Christensen’s attack on the media for what she correctly perceived to be the “fat-shaming” of Kim Kardashian. If you ask me, Christensen’s open letter was a heartening, intelligent protest against some pretty grubby, misogynistic journalism.
Now, welcome to the other side of the coin.
Jersey Shore ‘s Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi has taken to her MTV blog to advise Kim on how she can – nay, must! – look “glam” while giving birth. In a blog post titled “My Pregnancy Fashion Advice for Kim Kardashian,” Snooki writes:
“I know everything there is to know about how to look glam during labor! It’s a b***h, but it’s worth it! First impressions are everything, so when you meet your baby for the first time, you have to look flawless.”
If you can get past that fist-gnawingly awful opening, you’re actually in for some genuinely insightful feminist dialogue. Only kidding, it’s more depressing crap like this:
“You also have to make sure you choose your makeup palettes wisely, because the hospital rooms are boring, the walls are white; it’s just not a good look. Go for pink or red lips, rather than nudes and remember to keep an extra pair of eyelashes in your purse, just in case your water breaks when you’re not at home. Or, just do like I did and bring a whole box.”
Snooki gave birth earlier this year to son Lorenzo, which I guess is how she landed her plum role as ‘MTV’s celebrity baby correspondent’ (as opposed to the sixty-odd million other women who gave birth in 2012).
If you’ve made it this far, there’s a Snooki video on “hospital fashion” below (note to would-be mothers: any double chins gained during pregnancy should be concealed with a scarf; or, in Snookese: “Cover that s**t up.”)
