Funny New Year’s quotes and jokes are the perfect way to break the ice at even the dullest year-end parties. A little frivolity is far better than rehashing the worst moments of the year, or listening to your friend’s lame resolutions, so why not learn a few new jokes or write down a quote or two while you wait for the 2015 Times Square Ball drop on New Year’s Eve?
Guaranteed there’ll be loads of “haven’t had a shower in a year” ‘jokes’ on New Year’s Day
— Reyonce (@rhys_athletics) November 30, 2014
Memorizing a few of the one liners below isn’t all that hard, even if you’re not the best joke-teller in the world. Guy-Sports has a great list of funny jokes with a New Year’s Eve theme — they’re a great way to get the party started, especially if you’re surrounded by people who look like they could use a laugh… or a few glasses of champagne.
To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.
You know its time for a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, “One at a time, please!”
Definition of a hangover: Wrath of Grapes
Skipping the party and staying in on New Year’s Eve ? About.com has plenty of funny New Year’s Quotes that you can post on Facebook or Twitter that will make your friends, family — and even the complete strangers who follow you on social media — smile.
New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. – Jay Leno
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. – Oprah Winfrey
It wouldn’t be New Year if I didn’t have regrets. – William Thomas
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. – Oscar Wilde
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. – Bill Vaughn
Laughter is always the best medicine, especially with tragedy often outweighing the good news in 2014. Aside from telling corny jokes and quoting hilarious comedians, add a little more laughter to your new year by checking out the Huffington Post ‘s round-up of 2014’s 60 funniest moments in comedy .
[Images: Some EECards Twitter]
