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Is A Skyscraper Melting Cars In London Town?

Published on: September 3, 2013 at 7:35 PM ET
Allan Cowry
Written By Allan Cowry
News Writer

Apparently there is a nasty big skyscraper melting cars in London.

No, it’s not a hoax or a scene from the latest Austin Powers movie. If reports are correct, a new building under construction in the heart of London has been reflecting a blinding light ray onto the street and has melted at least one car.

Number 20 Fenchurch Street is the location of the offending skyscraper, which is said to be a complete nuisance, especially to drivers who approach the building. Thankfully, it’s not that sunny in London, and, because of this, we believe, there have been no mass fatalities as yet.

The skyscraper allegedly beams its rays at least six times brighter than even direct sunlight. One particular motorist, Martin Lindsay, said he left his Jaguar across the road from the building for around an hour.

When he returned to his car, he found some of the panels on his vehicle to be bent out of shape and he could smell burning rubber.

The BBC posted a statement from the Land Securities and Canary Wharf contractors — who are the developers of the project — about the incident:

“The phenomenon is caused by the current elevation of the sun in the sky. It currently lasts for approximately 2 hours per day, with initial modelling suggesting that it will be present for approximately 2-3 weeks.”

The Canary Wharf contractors apologized profusely, to Mr. Lindsay, in traditional British fashion, and duly paid for the damage to his lovely car .

The skyscraper melting cars story is a first, even for Britain, which has no shortage of outlandish stories to tell. The building has already gained the rather dubious nickname of the “walkie-talkie” building due to its distinctive shape. We hope its nickname won’t need to be changed to the “car burner”.

The City of London, in a typically English cautionary manner, have closed the three parking spaces directly affected by the beams of the evil car melting skyscraper — just as a precaution.

We can only hope that the latest skyscraper melting cars saga to hit the streets of London, will be resolved forthwith, and with due British diligence.

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