In a recent post on lehighvalleylive.com, a woman asked Annie Lane, an advisor on the site about her marriage after giving a brief about a recent fight that she had with her husband. The woman mentioned that she and her husband have been together for 13 years and married for 10.
She further mentioned that she had the impression that they were a happy couple given they did not have any massive arguments in all these years and what they had was normal couples’ fight and a loving relationship. However, a recent argument changed her perception about her own marriage.
The woman said that during the argument, her husband told her that he had been miserable in these 10 years of marriage. This was completely unexpected to the woman as she had no idea that her husband felt this way. When the fight was over, the husband did apologize to her but the damage was already done as she could not shake those words out of her mind or move past them.
The woman also mentioned that she was having serious doubts about her marriage and even considered a divorce. She said that words of this weightage were difficult for her to forget and she could not understand how to simply accept what he said and his subsequent apology and pretend like everything was normal.
Annie Lane, from whom the woman had asked advice regarding this situation, completely understood where she was coming from. She said that while it is understandable that something like this is bound to shatter a person, she should also consider thinking calmly before making a huge decision like leaving.
Annie told the woman that since people do say a lot of things that they don’t mean in moments of anger, she should talk to her husband openly about how she feels. Given the long time they have been together, it is expected that her husband will understand her concern and help her through it. Annie also mentioned that while leaving a marriage is indeed a huge step, that does not mean that the woman should not consider her own feelings.
Therefore, it is clear from Annie’s advice that communication is the key in any relationship. No matter how angry one is, they should be careful of what they say because it might end up hurting their loved ones in unexpected ways. Moreover, even if such a mistake occurs, it is important that both people communicate openly before taking any drastic step like leaving the relationship.
