Valentine’s Day Ideas: What Women Want Is Not Chocolates, Roses, Or Lingerie


Valentine’s Day ideas usually fall under the categories of gifts. But what women want for Valentine’s Day is really not chocolates, roses, or lingerie. In short, what women really want is quality time; she needs to feel that she matters.

Business Insider reported on the results from a survey which polled over 350 women, asking what women want for Valentine’s Day:

– 87 percent of women said a gift is not important to them, and they would rather their partner just spend time with them on Valentine’s Day
– Only 23 percentof women surveyed said they would like a traditional Valentine’s Day gift (e.g. flowers, candy, perfume, chocolate, etc.)
More than one-thirdof women said they would like to receive a gift related to their personal hobby or passion
97 percent of women said they would prefer another type of gift over lingerie

An opinion piece on The Huffington Post claims that for “many women their understanding of Valentine’s Day sex is just one more task that she is expected to perform.” But another HP writer has a slightly different take on that issue:

“It annoys the hell out of me that the media portray women my age as being desire-less and not interested in sex. Yeah, why is that?! If this were really true, then romance novels wouldn’t be the most read type of book. Talk about passion! Sex! Wowsa. Passion is primal. I believe we suppress our desires for a lot of reasons, but none of them are good reasons–and if you are not feeling it, I think that demands your deep attention. Deep, deep down, we all want it, right? Right?! Bring it on.”

Still, most of their advice recommends focusing on quality time for Valentine’s Day, not on spending big money on gifts or a fancy restaurant. For example, my wife constantly has other married women gushing over the acts of random romance I’ve committed during Valentine’s Day. I do all the chores. I try to show up unannounced to help her, sometimes with a gift in tow, but that’s not the point.

The focus is on spending time with her, not on attempting to wheedle sex out of her with gifts as a bribe. One year I took her to a park for a snow crab picnic on the lawn where we finished with champagne. Then, as a surprise, I drove her to a local airport where I’d chartered a private airplane ride that took us sky high on Valentine’s Day.

What do you think women want for Valentine’s Day? I’m hoping it’s good because you don’t want to be doing this:

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