‘Big Little Lies’ Star Nicole Kidman Opens Up About Her Previous Struggles Getting Pregnant

This month, Tatler is featuring Nicole Kidman on their cover, looking lovely as expected, but she is also sending a message that there is something deeper behind those dark blue eyes. Nicole explains that even though she appreciates the awards and statues she has been given for her work, she thinks they mean more when she gives them away to those important people in her life.

Tatler says that Kidman gave her award for the film The Hours, in which she played Virginia Woolf to her mom, Janelle Kidman, an avowed feminist who taught her about gender equality, a lesson she is passing on to her own kids.

‘That’s a big thing when you have a mother who has helped shape you and probably didn’t have the career she deserved. So in some ways, that’s my way of going, ‘Look, Mama, look! This is yours too.'”

Kidman adds that her youngest daughters with Keith Urban, Sunday and Faith have each been given their own awards from their mom, but they have their own minds and are not as easily impressed. Kidman jokes that Sunday prefers to display her own snowglobes and knickknacks in her room rather than making a display for Kidman’s acting awards.

But while Nicole Kidman is proud of her children with Urban, and her two adopted children with Tom Cruise, there is still a hole in her heart for the ectopic pregnancy and the miscarriage she had while married to Cruise, says The Independent. Kidman says that she still feels grief.

“I know the yearning. That yearning. It’s a huge, aching yearning. And the loss! The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough. That’s massive grief to certain women.”

Kidman adds that adopting Isabella and Connor with Cruise helped heal her, but that motherhood is always that combination of joy and loss.

“There’s an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side of it. The flipside of going through so much yearning and pain to get there is the feeling of ‘Ahhhh!’ when you have the child.”

Nicole adds that early in her marriage to Cruise, she wanted to have children, and the miscarriage was a real blow.

“And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic.”

Kidman says she had always embraced adoption as something that would be a part of her life. She explains that her mother has an adopted sister, and so she always considered adoption as something she wanted to do. But when she got pregnant with second husband Keith Urban, twice, she was overjoyed to add two daughters to her expanding family.