Madonna Confesses She Knows Who The Real Illuminati Members Are: Does That Explain Her Success?

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Madonna has revealed that her leaked song Illuminati is not an admission that she belongs to the notorious secret society, but the Material girl confessed she does know who the real members are.

Alongside other songs from sessions for her new album Rebel Heart, Madonna’s song Illuminati was leaked online last year. At least that’s the official version, there’s probably a 101 conspiracy theories that suggest otherwise.

At the time of the leak, Madonna described the act as both a form of terrorism and artistic rape. Critics even went as far as to call the leak of the Kayne West produced Illuminati, a vicious and highly unnecessary aural assault and a most diabolical form of noise pollution. But that’s just nit-picking.

Naturally a song called Illuminati sung by a world conquering pop starlet renowned for being nine tenths ambition and one tenth talent was gong to attract considerable attention from the dark corners of the internet and bring the conspiracy theorists to the party quicker than you can say “JFK!”

Having often been mistaken for a witch in the past, it came as no surprise that people began to consider the song as Madonna’s admission that she was actually a member of the shadowy group, who according to the bloke in the pub, are the puppet masters who lurk in the shadows and control governments, own the banks, shape world history and are hellbent on establishing a new world order.

Quite what use such a sinister organisation would have for a 1980’s pop star well past her prime is questionable, but as Madonna herself sings so eloquently in the track, everybody in the party is shining like Illuminati!

“The all-seeing eye is watching tonight, That’s what it is, truth and light, the all-seeing eye is watching tonight, nothing to hide, secrets inside. It’s like everybody in this party, shining like Illuminati.”

Such sophisticated wordplay and subtle symbolism can only mean one thing – Madonna is not very good at writing lyrics. The ageing queen of pop put any Illuminati rumours safely to bed and at the same time cryptically awakened others from a deep slumber when she neither admitted or denied being a member of the top secret gang, but she then insisted she knows people who are.

“People often accuse me of being a member of the Illuminati, but the thing is, I know who the real Illuminati are and I know where that word comes from.”

And just who could that be one wonders. Here’s a clue. Madonna lists names of people who are definitely not members of the Illuminati in her song, and it goes a little something like this.

“It’s not Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, it’s not the Google of United States, it’s not Bieber or Lebron. Clinton or Obama. It’s not Jay Z and Beyonce. it’s not Nicki or Lil Wayne, it’s not Oprah and Obama, the Pope or Rihanna, Queen Elizabeth or Kanye.”

The more keen-eyed amongst you will notice that there is a definite absentee from that list, and her name is Kim Kardashian. As Lewis Carrol once said, “Further we go down the rabbit hole.”

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